“Hmm,” Maddox’s said as his lips twisted to the side. He also looked out over the field. “Do you want me to send someone out to watch over you?”
Actually, this would be a good time to practice my control. My arcana simmered around my feet. It reached towards every little dead thing, grazing the corpse before moving on in search of more. I had to get this under control once and for all.
I shook my head. “Don’t worry. I’ll be fine on my own.”
Maddox snarled. He caught himself and whipped his head to the side. The snarl turned into a growl as he clutched his fists at his side.
“I’d feel better if you were protected.” He kept his face turned away from me.
I raised a brow. “Why do you care so much? Yesterday, I was worried that you were going to kill me for what happened. Now you want to keep me safe?”
Shaking his head and grumbling, Maddox turned and stomped away from me.
“Really?” I called out. “You don’t have a response?”
I laughed to myself. It was the only thing keeping me from having a meltdown. I knew what I had to do, but I didn’t want to do it. This power inside me wasn’t good. The Salem High Priestess had called me an abomination, and I was tempted to agree with her.
But if I didn’t learn how to use this arcana, then I would never be able to protect myself from whoever was hunting me. They’d already killed one woman with my power. I wasn’t going to let them have me.
Pulling the coffee off the heat, I set the pot aside so it could cool before I poured it. I didn’t feel like burning my tongue.
While the coffee cooled, I turned away from the fire and sent my arcana rolling out. Like fog coming in off the endless ocean, it spread over everything. Signs of death lit up like will-o-wisp flares. If I focused, I could almost see the little blue-green flames waiting to be summoned.
This time, however, I didn’t want to pull on the life around me. That’s what scared me. I didn’t want to be the cause of something else’s death. If I could pull on the anger I’d felt the other night, then maybe I could use that to fuel my power.
I just had toreachfor it.
In theory, it seemed simple. However, finding that kind of rage again proved to be difficult. Whenever I thought about last night, all that came up was guilt. It weighed me down and dragged the life out of everything around me.
Literally.
I thought that the world seemed gray because of my feelings, but I quickly realized that I was pulling the life force from the earth around me. Hissing a curse, I jerked back. I yanked on my arcana and shoved it back down, though it refused to be constrained.
My arcana fought back, pushing at every angle so it could find a weak spot in my control. My breath trembled. The arcana threatened to spill out of me, but I managed to keep it back despite my fumbling attempts to hold it.
“You belong to me,” I whispered. “Not the other way around.”
It couldn’t understand me. My arcana wasn’t sentient…yet it still seemed to have a mind of its own. As if it heard my declaration, it settled back into me. The well of power refused to sit still, but at least it was contained.
With shaking hands, I poured a cup of coffee and brought it to my lips. The bitterness of the black liquid brought me back to the moment. While I didn’t need the caffeine, the warmth helped push back the chill of death. Within a few sips, I felt more like myself again.
When I felt better, I set the mug aside and turned back to the field. I thought of the cat back at my house, and how it seemed real enough to be alive. Man, I hoped it was still okay. We’d left without checking on the poor thing. Did it need constant upkeep? Or would it stay that way even without someone like me around?
I reached out to the rabbit’s corpse under the log. It was further away than I thought, but my arcana could still reach without exerting any effort. How much of this power rested inside me at all times?
Now wasn’t the time to wonder. I had to focus. I had to think about the two women who’d lost their lives. Their faces, so similar to my own, made me angry. This killer was breathing down the back of my neck, and people I liked were getting caught in the fray.
That was enough to evoke the cold anger again. It suffused my body with a burning chill. I gritted my teeth and pushed that feeling through my arcana. I expected it to have an electrical sensation, but it flowed just like my smoky arcana. It found the rabbit and wrapped around it before squeezing tight.
My chest cinched. For an instant, I couldn’t breathe. It was as if a part of me was being torn away. Then, the anger left, and I was standing in the dark. Blinking, I glanced around. The space was dark and infinite. I doubted it was the afterlife, but death still moved along the ground like smoke.
It swirled around something hopping among the low-lying clouds. With a wave of my hand, the smoke cleared to reveal a brown rabbit that looked up at me for direction. My breath hitched.
This meant…
No.
I didn’t want it to be this way. I didn’t even know this was possible.