“Yes, I am. The moment I saw you, it was so different, so new. I knew I had to have you.”
Forever, I silently scream for him to add, but he doesn’t.
Still, this is closer to my dream life than I ever could’ve hoped for.
“You don’t have to exaggerate anything,” I tell him.
He moves even closer. People walk past us in the park, no clue who we are, probably assuming we’re a young woman with her older boyfriend. They have no clue about the collision of shame and want and lust and guilt coursing through us both.
“I’m not,” he growls. “You’re the first woman I’ve wanted in twenty years. And I’ve never felt like this before. Believe me or not, Faye, they’re facts.”
I reach up, almost touch him, then let my hand drop.
“Thanks for sharing all that,” I say, sounding lame even to myself. “I know it must’ve been hard to talk about.”
He steps back, knowing we have to be good.
“That’s why I want to tell you something,” I murmur. “Just in case….”
We get intimate again. And you think I’m going to be something I’m not.
“Yeah?”
I swallow, looking up at him, knowing this is it.
I can do it. This is the moment.
But then the words won’t come.
They fade away, and a dark feeling touches me.
I feel like I’m in high school again, dorky and ignored, always wondering what it would be like to be seen…but I don’t have to wonder anymore.
Felixsees me, looking down with those understanding, intense green eyes.
“I’ve never had an orgasm,” I say, lowering my voice. “I’m not sure I can. Just in case, you know, you thought I was going to be some crazy sex goddess or whatever.”
I turn back to the pond, my cheeks burning so much from this half-truth. I know I could never tell him all of it.