Chapter Twelve
Max holdshis hand out to me and I take it, stepping into the wooden long boat. It rocks slightly under me and I fall forward into Max’s arms. He catches me but falls back onto his arse. Fortunately, neither of us end up in thesea.
“Shit, sorry,” I laugh, scrambling out of his arms. He squeezes me against him for amoment.
“I’m always here to catch you when you fall, Louisa. I distinctly recall doing the same in Alpe D’Huez. Do you remember? You nearly went arse over tit on the snow. It was like watching Bambi on ice.” He chuckles at thememory.
I shove my palm against his chest, giggling. “Shut up. It was bloody dangerous. AsIrecall, you were pretty smug that morning after a night of sex with some facelesswoman.”
The smile slips from Max’s face. “Hey, that was before.” He holds his hand out to me and we both sit on a wooden bench. All the while the boat driver is watching our exchange with fascination. He gives us both a thumbs-up sign, then starts the motor. The boat lurchesforward.
“Before what?” I ask, a smile pulling at my lips. I don’t hold his past sexual antics against him. He isn’t that personanymore.
“That was before I fell in love withyou.”
“I know that, Max, I’m just teasing,” I respond, holding his hand. I lean my head against his shoulder, enjoying the feel of the sea spray against my skin as we cut through thewater.
“You don’t mind? About my past, I mean. We don’t really talk about the relationships I had beforeyou.”
I lift my head, not responding immediately as I try to arrange my thoughts. “You sought solace in the arms of women because you were searching for love. I can’t begrudge you that. Am I a little jealous when I think about you touching another woman, making love to them? Yes, I am. Frankly, I would have preferred it if you, Hudson and Bryce were all virgins before meeting me,” I say, only halfjoking.
Max’s laughs uproariously atthat.
“Okay, so maybe that’s a little unrealistic,” Iconcede.
“Hey look, if it’s any consolation, the thought of you with other men has my bloodboiling.”
“But not Bryce and Hudson? They are othermen.”
“I mean other men who aren’t my brothers. I’m not jealous of your relationship with either of them. I know they love you like I do. I know you love them. I am more than happy you have a relationship with Hud and Bryce. Those two have looked out for me for years. They deserve yourlove.”
“But?”
He sighs. “Sometimes, selfishly, I just want you to myself. I don’t want to have to fight for yourattention.”
“You think that you have to fight for my attention?” That makes me feel inextricably sad. I love them all, equally. Truly, they each give me something I need. I don’t have afavourite.
“Honestly? Yes.” He shrugs his shoulders. “Fuck, this conversation went serious all of a sudden, didn’tit?”
I bring my hand up to Max’s cheek and force him to look atme.
“I don’t want you to feel like you have to fight for my attention. I’m glad you told me, Max, because these feelings can fester. I need you to know that I love you. It isn’t selfish to want time alone with me. I want time alone with each of you too. That’s why I made the suggestion I did before we came away. We’ll figure this out together, okay. Thanks for being honest with me. But you need to be open with Bryce and Hudson too. I am fully aware that sometimes they can be a bitoverbearing.”
“Bossy, youmean.”
“Yes, bossy, but you are the youngest. They look out foryou.”
“I’m only six months younger than Bryce,” Max complains. “I can take it from Hudson, after all he’s the one who looked out for us, who took us in when we left the home, but that hairy beast, Bryce, can go jump.” He’s joking of course. I think he and Bryce have a very special relationship. They took care of each other when Hudson left the home, and those extra couple of years together made them incrediblyclose.
“Hey, I happen to love that hairy beast,” I say,tutting.
“He bloody loves you too. I’ve never seen him so cukcoo over anyone before. Fuck, even Hudson has turned a corner. I was always so worried about him. His heart was fucked up by the years of abuse. Now, he’s a different man and it’s all because of you. What you’ve done for us all…” Max says, his hand squeezing mine. He looks at me with such love, I feel my own love for him surge in my chest. “Christ, we’ve been waiting for you for so long,” he says, pressing a kiss against mymouth.
For the next ten minutes, we sit in comfortable silence as we make our way across to Railay Beach. The water is a deep cerulean blue, and above us a few powdery clouds float by. As we leave the open water and head closer to land, huge pieces of rock come into view. They are like teeth growing out of the sea. I can see birds nestled amongst the craggy rocks, wings flapping as they soar into the air. Max points in front ofus.
“Look,” he says, delight lighting hiseyes.
I follow his gaze, and just ahead and to the right of us I see something leap out of the water. “Is that a dolphin?” I ask, my mouth dropping open insurprise.