“So serious,” I murmur, all humor leaving the room.
“You enjoy being spanked, don’t you? You love it even.”
“I do.”
“When I tell you to behave, it is not the promise of you enjoying what would happen if you do not obey. Understood?”
“Yes.”
“Did you have a safe word?” he questions.
I answer with only a nod, the word stuck at the back of my throat.
“Did you use it often?”
“No. I tried not to use it ever.” His expression is unmoving, but his eyes spark with an emotion I can’t place.
“I want you to pick a word now.”
“Should it be the same as before?”I question without asking if I have permission to speak freely. The fear of disapproval grips me instantly and I’m more than aware that Zander notices. It’s the first time since we’ve started that his expression softens.
“We are not in a scene and I am happy to clarify,” he answers, his tone soothing and caressing away the worry. “So long as you are answering or searching for an answer, I am pleased.” I only nod, my heart continuing to run away from me.
“To answer your question, the word is yours to choose. It can be the same, or it can be different. It can be as simple as ‘stop,’ although if you choose that word, you may find that you want to change it later … it’s quite easy to use the word when the intensity picks up.” With a deeper inhale, Zander’s hips move slightly and he palms his erection through his jeans. “I intend to push every boundary with time, but for your word, it is yours and you can use anything you wish.”
“Even something like … daffodil?”
He only nods and when I’m silent in response he asks, “Is that your word?”
“No.” My gaze drops to the floral print decorating my dress. I didn’t anticipate feeling … like this.
“What’s wrong?”
I nearly shake my head but before I can complete the action, denying that anything is off, Zander commands, “You will tell me what you were thinking. And you will tell me now.”
My throat is tight when I answer, “He told me it was a silly word. He said the safe word shouldn’t be … daffodil.” I don’t know why it hurts so much to remember that. James was good to me. And I loved it. I loved everything that we had together.
“He was soft, and from the sounds of it, it was play for you? It was more than likely play for him with … limited experience.
“Safe words are respectedregardless of what they are. Whatever word you want to use, I will abide by. Is that clear?”
“Yes.” The stirring of heat in his eyes is echoed at my core under the skirt of my dress. Simply from the way he looks at me, with the darker gaze of a Dominant.
“When you are ready, tell me what your word is.”
“Pink.” I answer him with only the word and not the reason, praying silently that he won’t ask for one.
“Pink.” He nods once with his eyes closed before opening them, his dark gaze still fixed on me. “Understood.”
“You will use this word often because I will be pushing to find your boundaries. I am not a soft Dom. Know that I don’t have any indication whatsoever of your limits. Using your safe word is the only way I will discover them. And it will please me when you use it.”
That’s so different from before. The way we used it … it was a bad thing to use a safe word. James didn’t like it at all, although it only happened a handful of times. I’ve always thought our relationship was kinky. But now I’m questioning many things I thought I knew well, and we haven’t even begun.
“Again, answer me with only a single word. Understood?” The seriousness of his tone is unexpected. For a moment I wonder if this will be too much. If I can handle this, and if this is really what I want.
“Yes.”
“For your punishment … spanking, without a doubt, yes?”