three
Astrid
Thedemandinggrowlof an engine pulls me out of the memory of my one night with Finn. Leena springs to the window to see who’s just arrived, but the strange fluttering in my stomach confirms my suspicions before she’s even drawn back the curtain.
“Finn’s here,” she says.
Anxiety tightens around me like a corset, forcing the air from my lungs.
I join her at the window. There’s a truck I don’t recognize parked in the driveway. I see Finn seated inside, staring through the windshield at the cabin.
“I should’ve faked a stomach flu,” I say, resting a hand on my belly.
After a long moment, he gets out and withdraws a black backpack from the passenger’s seat, followed by a red velvet sack that I assume is filled with presents.
Leena takes my hand and steers me away from the window. “Quick, finish the story before we have to go down and see him.”
“I don’t think there’s time.”
“Bae, you can’t stop there. You were just getting to the good bits.”
“I’m sure you can guess what happened next.” I glance down at my body, recalling the memory of Finn’s lips on my shoulder and his strong arms around me.
Yes, those were definitely good bits.
Calling Finn Daddy was mortifying at first. Until he told me to say it again.
Heat rushes through me at the recollection. Beneath the apprehension and hurt, I can still sense his presence in all the places where he touched me. It takes no effort to call up the anticipation I felt as he laid me down on the soft grass, or the cloud of euphoria I floated on as his mouth covered my nipples. When his tongue danced between my legs.
I remember it all, every second of our singular night together.
“Finn doesn’t know about the baby?” Leena asks.
“No. He left right after he brought me home, and we haven’t spoken since.”
“I’m sorry, what? You’re telling me that asshole downstairs let you call him Daddy, took your V-card in public, and then ghosted you?”
“I know it’s crazy, but please don’t say anything.”
She folds her arms across her chest. “He’d better step the hell up when you finally do tell him. And you will have to tell him soon, because this isn’t something you can hide forever.”
“I’m aware of that.” If I’m lucky, I’ll be able to keep this secret until after I hear back from at least one of the nursing programs I applied to.
“Have you at least seen a doctor?”
“Not yet. I know I need to, just to make sure the baby’s okay. But Mom insists on driving me everywhere. If I ask her to drop me at the doctor’s office, she’s going to hound me about why.”
“That’s so fucked, Astrid. You’re a grown-ass woman. I love my aunt but she’s been clipping your wings ever since your dad died.” Leena clamps her lips shut, catching herself. “Sorry. I don’t mean to go off on your mom.”
“No, you’re right. She’s suffocating me. But I’m not sure who’s more to blame. Her for doing it, or me for allowing her to do it every single time.”
“Don’t worry about who’s at fault. Worry about this little baby. He or she is going to need you. And look, if you schedule a doctor’s appointment before the end of January, I can take you. We’ll tell your mom we’re going for a spa day, and we’ll get mani-pedis afterwards to make it look convincing.”
I have to admit, a pamper session with Leena would be a nice diversion.
“You know what’s funny? Before all this, I would’ve probably asked Finn to take me.”
“He should take you.” Her scowl wavers into concern. “God, Astrid. I just hope...”