I clutched the suitcase tightly in one hand, feeling like I might cry. I twisted around to the backroom door, half-hoping Hunter would come out and say his final good-bye, but he just watched me leave with an empty expression. He’d barely spoken to me last night, but he'd fucked me with a desperation that I still felt in my core. By the time I had gotten dressed and ready, he was sitting on the edge of the bed, staring blankly at the floor.
I didn’t tell him good-bye because it felt final, and also because I didn’t think he wanted to hear it. Instead, I stood by the bedroom door, clutching my suitcase, staring at him and hoping he’d give me one glance back. I needed to meet his eyes—I needed to see what lurked in their depths. I needed to know this was okay—that he still agreed to it.
But Hunter didn’t, and I ultimately left because I had run out of time.
Leo was due to arrive any second, and I was feeling sick to my stomach because this was so much harder than I thought it would be.
I didn’t want to go, not without Hunter telling me it would be okay. This was messing me up. I shook wildly, tears threatening to spill. Anxiety grew tenfold and with it the panic set in.
I couldn’t go.
Not like this.
Headlights flashed nearby. I saw a familiar black car peel into the parking lot.
Fuck, no, not like this.
I wanted to weep. I bent over, breathing harshly because I wasn’t ready to go just yet. I had made friends—Jesse didn’t know where I put his helmet when he left it behind last night. See, he needed me, too. He was like a brother to me, and now I felt like I was abandoning him too.
The car stopped before the entrance, waiting, and I wanted to vomit.
I stood up straight, breathing harshly now as I wheeled the suitcase a few steps forward. Every instinct told me to stay behind—
The backroom door opened just then. I turned my head in time to see his goliath body rush through. A tear spilled out of my eye as Hunter came to me, gripping my face in his large hands, staring down at me with the most fervent expression I’d ever seen before.
I can’t go.I wanted to say.
“I love you, Skye Cross,” he let out in a rush. “I’m going to miss you, Nugget.”
Another tear spilled. “Hunt—”
“I want you to go to Leo and be happy. Don’t think of yourself as leaving all this, alright? Think of it as hitting pause. We’ll resume when you’re back.” His breathing hitched as he stared hard at me. “Tell me you’ll be back.”
“I’ll be back—”
He kissed me harshly, tongue clashing against mine. It was a quick, thorough kiss, and it ended too soon. He pulled back, licking at my tears, hugging me tightly against his front, squeezing me to him until I could hardly breathe.
"I should have tried harder," he murmured to himself. "Next time...Next time, I'll do it."
Then he let me go and stepped back. “Go.”
I left, still trembling, still feeling like I was leaving such a huge part of me behind. When I stepped out, my heart ached something awful. I heard a door slam shut, and I looked up at the black car and went dead still.
Leo was leaning against the car, arms crossed, looking solemnly at me. His eyes brightened as I locked gazes with him, but he didn’t come to me. He looked over my shoulder and then at me, at my fallen tears. For a brief second, terror seized him. He held his breath, looking suddenly nervous as I began to slowly approach him.
My Leo had gotten so much broader; his face had changed, his cheekbones starker than ever against blue eyes that leapt out of his face.
“Are you okay, sweetness?” he whispered as I stopped before him.
I wiped my face, admitting, “I’m not really okay, Leo.”
His face fell, but despite his fears, his voice dropped lower as he said, “You can stay, Skye. I’d understand.”
My smile was wobbly as I peered up at him. I left behind a huge part of myself just now, and for a second, I was empty. But seeing Leo, staring into his eyes, breathing his scent in, I felt like the other half of me—the half I’d left behind when Hunter picked me up the first day of Winter—returned just then.
It would always hurt to feel half-whole, I reminded myself. It would always feel like I was leaving half my soul behind.
“I missed you,” I told Leo. “I love you. I’m not going anywhere.”