Oh shit.
“The lion ‘filled his caves with prey and his dens with torn flesh.’” Blood spurted from the knife. Kazimir didn’t release the general’s neck as he spoke to one of his guards. “Get a bag. I want Smirnov to get the general’s head.”
My stomach twisted. My mouth went dry. Kazimir backed away from the general. The destroyed man fell to the floor, spasming blood onto the carpet.
I watched him die, feeling conflicted the entire time. He had only been the messenger.
Kazimir had just killed the general with no warning. Part of me was disgusted, the other aroused. That emotion brought bile to my throat. Images of blood flashed in my head.
I blinked.
Sweat beaded along my forehead.
I couldn’t stop watching the general die.
“Mysh?”
Blinking, I looked up. It was in that moment I realized I’d been twisting the bottom of my robe with my hands, forming a tight ball. Adrenaline coursed through me. My head spun like I’d been drinking.
“Are you okay?” he asked.
I felt like I was on a rollercoaster ride going up and then suddenly with no warning, falling down.
Another one of Kaz’s guards walked over to the general, yanked the butcher knife out of his chest, and began hacking at his neck.
More bile rose.
It wasn’t like I didn’t know about the sight of blood or was uncomfortable with killing. It was just that too much was hitting me and, for some reason, my body wasn’t reacting the same as it usually did.
“Mysh?” Kazimir walked my way.
The guard continued to hack at the general’s head. Blood spurt with each slam.
I held my stomach, and then I realized what was going on. “I have to throw up.”
Kaz quirked his eyebrows. “You’re sick.”
Unable to answer, I ran off to the bathroom.
Chapter 13
Kazimir
She’s pregnant. She’s seen blood before. She’s seen dead bodies, even cut off a few body parts herself.
I grinned.
She could watch five men die in front of her and not blink.
But she vomited after I killed the general, and deep in my heart I knew I’d been right. Life grew inside her. Our child. I’d felt the truth of it in my heart. From time to time, as I sat at my desk, I’d even imagined what it would be like for her to be pregnant.
And now, it may be happening.
Emily vomited, took another shower, and left the bathroom. By that time, I’d made sure all signs of death were out of the hotel room. There could be no more problems in these next days.
She agreed to see a doctor in Moscow, but that’s going to be too far away. I’ll have to convince her to do it here.
I knew the very idea of motherhood scared her. But what could we do? I yearned to know. If she was with child, she would need a doctor soon.
Could her mind handle something like this? I would have to be gentle. Take this slow.
Emily stepped out of the bathroom. Worry creased her face.
She’s scared. I’ll have to take my time.
I forced myself to calm down and remain seated on the bed. “How are you?”
“I’m fine.” She cleared her throat. “I think it was just a lot for the morning. I’ll be okay. I just need some water—”
“It’s time to see a doctor.”
She widened her eyes. “When we get back to Moscow.”
“Today.”
“No.” She shook her head.
“Why not?”
She walked off. “I don’t want to.”
“You’ve been avoiding a pregnancy test since we killed Sasha.”
“There’s no need to get one. It’s not time for my period yet. It…it’s still due. And there isn’t any real indication I could be pregnant besides the fact we’re always fucking without a condom.”
“And I’m always coming inside of you.”
“That too.”
“But now you’ve thrown up.”
“I don’t want to talk about this now.” She tightened her robe and left the bedroom. “I’m hungry.”
I rose, stormed after her, but kept my voice calm. “We’re going to discuss this.”
“Apparently,” she mumbled.
I gently grabbed her arm and stopped her from walking down the hallway. “Talk to me, mysh.”
“I…”
“What?”
“I don’t want to be pregnant right now.”
My heart ached.
I should’ve taken my time.
I let go of her arm and whispered, “Why not?”
“Because…” She looked down at the ground. “Am I…mother material? I just found out over a month ago that I like to kill guys and—”
“That doesn’t matter.”
“I would think a good mother doesn’t kill people.”
“Mine did, and she was an excellent mother.”
Emily turned her view to me. “Who did your mom kill?”
“Anybody who got in our way. Not important men, but enough. She even choked a police officer long ago. It was the first time I’d ever seen anyone die in front of me. I was seven.”
Emily touched her chest. “Why did she kill the cop?”
“I grew up in poverty and surrounded by government corruption. Criminals and the unwanted made up my community. Cops required an extra payment from households. They came there personally to fatten their pockets. My father was gone and left my mother alone with two kids. One night, my mother didn’t have any money to give the cop. He decided to take her body instead.”