Alex grins widely, then lets it falter, as though he doesn’t think he should allow himself to smile so easily yet.
“It all comes back to you, to both of you,” he says. “You kept looking at the door, Ben. I think part of you wanted to tell me right there.”
I swallow the truth, averting my gaze in case I end up blurting it out anyway. I did want to tell him there, but I couldn’t without betraying Becca. I’ll never do that. Nothing could make me cross that line.
“And this week….”
Tiffany glances at Alex, as if asking if it’s okay to cut in.
When Alex nods, she goes on.
“You’ve been telling everybody you’re with your friend June, right?”
“Yes.” I’m sure Becca audibly swallows, her nerves plain. “Why?”
“Well, I’ve sort of seen her a couple of times this week. We got to talking at the wedding, and we’ve been going to the gym together. I…well, Alex mentioned that your dad had mentioned you spending a lot of time with her. And I happen to know that’s not true.”
She raises her hands, her voice shaking as she goes on.
“I didn’t mean to cause any trouble. But I thought Alex would want to know.”
“I was pretty sure,” Alex nods, reaching out and placing his hand on his wife’s shoulder. “But I wasn’t certain. This pushed me over that line. Obviously, I couldn’t be sure, so I was waiting for you to tell me…and when you didn’t, I organized this dinner.”
“Why did you leave?”
Becca’s voice is high, a tremor in it, making me want to reach over and touch her arm, the same way Alex is touching Tiffany’s.
My hand twitches at my side, the desire ignored. I can’t risk too much too fast, even if a voice is whispering, telling me to savor this, telling me everything’s going to be okay.
“It was a shock,” Alex says, sighing. “That’s all. Just a shock. Suspecting it and seeing it, and especially like that. I haven’t seen you like that…ever, Ben, even during your fighting days.”
“I know,” I say, nodding.
“I think….”
“Say it, Alex. Nothing’s off-limits now. You deserve to ask any question you want.”
“The way you were talking to that drunk guy.” Alex looks at the tree, wringing his hands, then turns to me bleakly. “It made it sound like you two have been seeing each other for a while…even before I noticed. But I don’t know how that can be the case. Becca was in England.”
I nod, a smile touching my lips. I can’t help it. I don’t fight it.
“It started at the party. I didn’t even recognize her at first.”
“What…how?” Alex asks.
I shrug. “It’s like you said, it’d been years since I’d seen her. She was a teenager then. Then I see this woman, and…and everything changed. I don’t know how to describe it. Suddenly, I knew all that stuff, marriage and kids and the life I thought I’d never have. It was right there, she was right there. I thought everything had fallen into place. It would be so simple now.
“Then I learned her name, her real name. And it hit me so goddamn hard. I’m not trying to play the victim.”
“No, it’s fine,” Alex says softly, as though wanting me to go on.
“I knew I had to fight this feeling. But I couldn’t. It’s like this pull inside of me. I care about Becca, Alex. I’d never let anything happen to her. I don’t know what you think, but this isn’t some fling, an affair, a cheap throwaway thing. Nothing like that. This is….”
“Forever,” Becca whispers. “I feel the same. I can’t believe he does, but I do. Alex, do you really not hate us, hate me? I was the one who got scared the time you came over. I was the one who kept chickening out about telling you. Ben wanted to tell you. You need to know that.”
“I don’t hate you.” Alex walks over to his sister, hugging her for a moment. “I could never hate you, Becca. You’re my little sister. I like seeing you happy. And I know Ben. I’ve known him a long time. He’s telling the truth. He wants the best for you. As long as you’re happy.”
“I am,” she says fiercely. “So freaking happy. This – you, Alex… no, that’s not right. I’m not blaming you. Your reaction was the thing making me wonder if it could work. With Ben and me, nothing is holding us back.”