“I’m not sure I could either.”
“So the dinner,” I say quickly, needing to get this back on track. “We’ll just be normal and civilized, and everything will be fine.”
“Civilized. There’s a word, Becca. I’m not sure I can be civilized around you. If you don’t want me to take advantage of that young curvy body of yours, stay out of my way. Don’t shake that big gorgeous ass in my direction. Don’t aim those voluptuous perfect tits at me.”
I giggle. I can’t help it.
“Aim? I don’t aim them anywhere.”
He chuckles. I imagine his lips smiling widely, and my heart flutters.
That’s just in my mind.
How am I going to handle it in person after so long?
No, it just feels like it’s been a long time since we last saw each other. It’s only been weeks.
“Don’t worry,” he says. “I’ll be on my best behavior.”
“So you agree it’s for the best?” I push on as if he hasn’t already given me his answer.
I can’t help but feel there should be something else.
We can’t end it like this.
It took me twenty minutes to build up to this phone call, walking around the hotel room, psyching myself up. And now it all feels like a big anti-climax.
Did you really think he would fight for you?a bitter voice hisses from within.
Of course, I know I shouldn’t have thought that. There was – is – nothing to fight for.
But that feels like a lie. So Ben and me, that feels like the most important thing to me.
“I agree it would hurt Alex if he knew the truth. I agree we should probably behave ourselves. But no, Becca, it’s not for the best. Never ask me to agree with that. I wish I could tear the fucking world apart, rip it to shreds, and put it back together, so you and Alex weren’t related. But then even that’s evil because I’d steal your brother from you, a sister from my best friend. I guess what I’m trying to say is….”
“The world is unfair?” I murmur, filling in the blank.
“Yeah, Becca,” he snarls. “It is. It’s a damn shame. But yeah, you’re right. We’ll be strangers at the party. I’ll do my best, at least.”
“I….”
Before I can say anything else, he hangs up.
I stare across the hotel room at my reflection. It’s too easy to imagine Ben sitting down next to me, wrapping me in his powerful arm, hugging me close as he leans down to kiss the top of my head.
It’s done now. He agreed.
I sensed emotion there, hunger, something fierce when he was giving his speech.
But he didn’t tell me no. He didn’t tell me we’d find a way.
Thisis the only way.
Wiping a tear from my cheek, I lie down, staring up at the ceiling.