Chapter 34
Jenna was lying alongside the rock-lined stream, trailing her fingers in small circles through the crystal-clear water as it made lazy, bubbling progress on its way down the mountain. She had always known there wasn’t any other place on earth she felt as settled as ShadowDance Mountain, and everything that had happened since her return home recently had just underscored how empty her life had been without the joy that could only be found with family and friends. She’d traveled all over the world, met thousands of people, seen everything from the Eiffel Tower to the Great Barrier Reef to the Great Wall of China to the Corcovado in Rio and she knew in her heart she would trade it all for the chance to experience the type of love and acceptance she saw reflected in the eyes of her brothers and her best friend.
The leaves were awash of brilliant gold and vibrant shades of orange. Hell, even their reflection in the water was something to behold. Jenna knew she would have to make a decision soon, but even after everything they had shared Jenna wasn’t secure enough in her relationship with Colt to make a life-altering decision just on the outside chance that he might have really meant all those things he’d said about her belonging to him. One of the things she had always hated the most about Ted Scott’s attack was the self-doubt he’d been able to instill so deeply in her soul. Being beaten and raped had been trauma enough to overcome, but she still struggled with the lingering effects of insecurities born of his actions and words. And if she was really honest with herself, she would admit that the only person who had ever been able to reach through all that and see her heart had been Colt Matthews.
* * * *
Colt stood in the shadows watching as Jenna lay stretched out on the flat rocks beside the mountain stream. She was a vision surrounded by the fall splendor of the mountains, lost in thought. Colt knew he would never forget the picture of her at this moment. Standing still and watching the play of expressions move over her beautiful face, he etched the moment firmly into his memory, knowing that someday he’d be able to tell his grandchildren about how amazing their grandmother had looked as he’d approached her with the most important question he’d ever asked another person. He knew he would have to be honest with those beautiful blessings to come and tell them just how scared he’d been about asking her to become his wife, but he’d also tell them that he would have never taken no for an answer either.
Wondering at what she was thinking, he smiled to himself knowing he wouldn’t be able to figure out the workings of the female mind if he lived to be five hundred years old, and that was just one of the things about Jenna Lamont that made her the most captivating woman he’d ever known.
Colt knew just how lost in thought she was when he walked right up to her and sat down alongside her before she ever registered his presence. The lover in him was thrilled that her first reaction to his touch was immediate recognition, but the Dom was much less than thrilled with her lack of awareness of her surroundings.Looks like we’ll be having another discussion about how important I consider your safety won’t we, my sweet love? Oh…but I am so looking forward to revisiting that lesson.
When Jenna started to move to a sitting position, Colt stilled her with a palm to her back. “No, please, stay still for a moment. Seeing you surrounded by the beauty of the mountain, lost in the peace I know you feel here is just about the most amazing thing I have ever seen.” He smiled at the softness he saw in her eyes at his words of praise.She is so perfect it’s as if she was created just for me. As much as I hate to admit it, Grayson is right, I’ve never done anything that makes me worthy of this gift.
Colt ran his fingers through the soft length of Jenna’s hair as it trailed over her shoulders and down her back, marveling at the silky slide of it through his fingers. Her hair was the same midnight color as her brothers’, showing the Native American heritage they all inherited from their father, but her striking beauty was a genetic gift from her mother. Catherine Lamont had been a model and was still a beauty even as she was preparing to become a grandmother.
They remained in companionable silence for several minutes before Colt finally leaned over and scooped Jenna up into his arms and cradled her in his lap. When she leaned into his broad chest and sighed in contentment, he wasn’t sure but thought his heart might well burst right out of his chest.
Jenna finally broke the silence by asking, “What have you been up to this fine afternoon? You disappeared after lunch, and I wasn’t sure where you had gone, so I decided to come out here. This was always one of my favorite places to escape and relax. It is just so peaceful here…no matter the season, this must be one of the most beautiful spots in the entire world.” Colt recognized the wistful tone in her words and knew his sweet sub was struggling to find the balance that subs missed when they weren’t held close to their Masters’ hearts.
A submissive whose desire to please her Master was as deeply ingrained as Jenna’s would always struggle with melancholy moods and a strong sense of disconnection when they felt they were drifting freely without the security of the anchor they found in their Dom and knowing they were loved and cherished above all else by the man they entrusted their heart to. Colt had always been amazed that the truest submissives were usually viewed by the outside world as the most intelligent and independent women. Only the best Doms understood the value of earning the trust and submission of the strongest woman, that those were the deepest ties and the most-enduring relationships.
Colt sat Jenna to his side so that she was facing him and took her small hands in his and raised them to his lips, kissing away the last of the cool mountain water. “Well, my love, I had a very important call to make and it took me a little while to track down the couple I wanted to talk to. You see, they are busy people and travel a lot, so they are often hard to catch up with.” Smiling at her puzzled expression he continued before she could ask him anything. “But I finally caught up with them as they were getting ready to board a flight in Paris with a couple of young ladies in tow. They sounded exhausted but absolutely over the moon about their two new ‘adopted’ daughters.” Colt knew he’d just given her the hints she’d needed to figure out he had talked to her parents.
Daniel and Catherine Lamont had been thrilled when he’d finally caught up with them as they made their way back with the two young women Jenna had arranged to have stay with them while they studied in the United States. Colt had spoken to Catherine first because she had known for years how much he loved her daughter. He and Catherine had sat at the kitchen table one night over a year ago talking as they’d made short work of bottle of Daniel’s best wine they had hijacked from the mansion’s well-stocked wine cellar. They’d talked long into the night, and she’d finally gotten him to admit to his feelings for Jenna.
Catherine had warned him that there was a heart of pure gold in her sweet daughter, but that something had changed in her, and neither she nor Jenna’s father had ever known exactly why, but she’d cautioned Colt that timing was going to be paramount. Colt had recalled that late-night conversation with Catherine many times, and it had been months before he’d truly understood that the underlying message had been one of acceptance.
Daniel Lamont had gotten on the phone when he’d seen tears racing down his wife’s cheeks, even though their relationship wasn’t as overtly Ds as their sons’ it was still obvious by the stern questions Colt heard coming from his future father-in-law. Daniel had demanded to know exactly what Colt had said to make his sweet wife cry, and Colt hadn’t wasted anytime in asking him for his daughter’s hand in marriage. Daniel had gone completely silent for just enough time to have Colt feeling a bit unsettled when he’d finally sighed and said, “Damn, son, it’s about fucking time.”
Colt had let out the breath he hadn’t even realized he was holding and laughingly agreed. They’d talked briefly about the recent events at ShadowDance before their flight had been called, and they’d all said their good-byes.
Watching as realization lit Jenna’s eyes, he smiled down at her and watched as the sunlight filtered through the trees and danced around her. “You are so beautiful you take my breath away…and your beauty is soul deep, sweet Jenna.” Pausing for a few seconds to try to calm his racing heart, he finally continued. “I love you with every beat of my heart, and I can’t even imagine living the rest of my life without you as my wife.”
Pulling a small velvet box from his pocket, he held it up and opened it. When he looked up into Jenna’s eyes, he nearly drowned in the love he saw filling them. Leaning forward, he kissed away the tears that had fallen before asking, “Will you marry me, Jenna? I want to spend the rest of my life showing you what it feels like to be the center of my universe. I want to share every joy and sorrow that life brings us and know that I’ve been blessed beyond measure to have the most amazing woman I’ve ever known love me in return. I want to raise a family with you, and I’d very much like to do that right here on the mountain I know you love because I believe in my heart this is the one place you are the most at peace…but if your heart truly wants to live somewhere else, I want you to know that I would follow you to the end of the earth if it meant sharing my life with you.”
Staring up into Colt’s face, Jenna was lost in the love she felt coming from him like warm waves washing over her soul. For a few seconds she had to make herself concentrate enough to take in the words he’d spoken. It was almost too much to take in that after all she’d been through. All the years of suffering and struggling in silence, and now she was being given the very thing she had always been too afraid to even wish for.
She’d loved Colt for years, but she had never felt worthy until he’d shown her the freedom that she could find in submission. Last night when she hadn’t been able to sleep, she’d made her way down to the kitchen and found Zach making hot cocoa for Kat. He’d taken the steaming cup up to his wife then come back downstairs to talk to her. When he’d finally gotten her to open up about what was troubling her, she’d laid her soul bare and asked him to explain the sense of the inconsistency she felt.
Zach had done his best to explain the dynamics of Ds relationship, but it hadn’t been until Alex had stepped into the room and wrapped his arms around her from the back in a hug and told her that she didn’t need to “slice and dice it”…that she should just follow her heart, that she had finally realized sometimes things were just too significant to try to explain.
Jenna didn’t realize how lost she’d become in thought until she noticed Colt’s intense look just before he spoke. “God but I would love to know where you just went.” Chuckling, he quickly added, “The expression of pure love that washed over your sweet face was something to behold. Care to share? And by the way, I’m still waiting for an answer to my question, pet.”
Taking her hands from his, she reached up to cup his face as she spoke. “I spoke with my brothers just last night, asking them questions about the workings of Ds relationships, and amazingly it was Alex whose words had the biggest impact.” She gently placed her finger over his lips when he started to speak, silencing him as she continued. “His words of wisdom were to stop analyzing something that justisand to follow my heart. And my heart belongs to you, Colt…I love you more than I ever knew I could love anyone…You have given me so many gifts, but more than anything, you have put joy and meaning back into my life and I honestly believed I’d lost those forever.”
Colt pulled the ring from its velvet perch and slipped it onto her finger before leaning down to kiss her hand, running his lips over the ring that now brought their hearts even closer together. “I can’t promise you I’ll be a perfect husband, hell, I can guarantee you I’ll be way less than perfect as a matter of fact.” He looked at her and then leaned forward to brush a light kiss over her lips before speaking again. “But I can tell you that I will always love you and cherish you more than you can possibly imagine. You are the light and center of my life. I want to marry you as soon as possible, sweetness. And as soon as we return from our honeymoon, we’ll have a collaring ceremony.”
Jenna smiled at the mention of a collaring. She’d been almost eighteen before she’d figured out the beautiful diamond choker her mother wore was actually a collar. When she’d asked about it, her mother had been completely honest with her, explaining that in relationships like hers and her father’s, a collaring was actually more significant and binding than a marriage ceremony. It had fascinated Jenna, and she smiled now at that memory.
“I spoke with your mother and father, and I can promise you your mom is in full wedding-planner mode already.” He smiled and shook his head before saying, “God help your brothers when she hits the gate and starts in on the plans she was texting to me even before their plane had left Paris. I know you have a lot of things going on with deciding about redirecting your career and all that would entail…” He found himself in very novel territory as he blew out a breath and then said, “I’d love to work with your mom on the plans if you don’t mind. I want to make this something so special you’ll remember it as one of the most beautiful days of your entire life rather than the end of a stressful couple of months of planning and preparation. I want you to concentrate on getting yourself to a place where you can balance your need to help others with the time I’m going to be taking up keeping you naked and shivering in a sexual haze.” He was pleased to see her eyes dilate and a small smile move over her lovely face and knew his words had broken some of the tension just as he’d hoped they would.
Jenna couldn’t believe it…this man, the one she knew was a Dominant to his core, was offering to work with Typhoon Catherine to plan the wedding of her dreams so she could concentrate on getting ready to start college after the first of the year? At that moment, she finally looked down at the ring he’d slid onto her finger and gasped. “Oh my God in heaven, Colt…this is the most amazing ring I’ve ever seen.” The gold band had interlocking swirls of titanium whose focal point was the enormous princess-cut diamond flanked by a dazzling pair of alexandrite stones. The stone had always been her favorite, its changing color fascinating her. Looking up into his eyes, she asked, “How did you know?” in a voice that was little more than a wisp of air.
Wrapping her in his arms, he pulled her into his chest and kissed her temple before he spoke. “As your Dom and your fiancé it is my job to know everything about you, my love. Don’t think for a minute you will have even the smallest secret…I’ll spend the rest of my life uncovering every wonderful little detail that makes you the most intriguing woman I have ever known.”
Jenna wrapped her arms around Colt’s neck and sighed as she inhaled the woodsy scent of his aftershave. Pulling back, she slowly ran her fingers along the underside of his jaw before raising her eyes to his. “I want to live here. I want to go back to college and get a degree that will allow me to help other women who have endured and survived the horrors that lurk around every corner. But I can do most of that from here, and I want to talk to my brothers about building here on the mountain if you’d like that, I mean, well, I want to live close to my family and they already love you, and well, I’m going to have to be around a lot if I’m going to be the world’s best aunt and then someday when we have a family…oh my God, you do want a family, don’t you? Oh geez, we didn’t even talk about that…and well, I want to continue to learn about Ds, and I love going to The Club, and Kat is my best friend and…”
Colt leaned his head back and laughed out loud. “God I love you so much. You are just an absolute treasure…You beguile me and living here with you as my wife, raising our children…which yes, by the way, I want very much, is just about as perfect a life as I can imagine.”
Pausing for several seconds while she settled, Colt used very best Dom voice and said, “Now, about this issue of you being out here all alone and so lost in thought that you didn’t even hear my approach. Do you remember our discussion about how serious an issue I consider your safety and how important I consider your attention to each and every detail relating to that? Hmmm?” He almost laughed aloud again as he saw the lust and anticipation flash through her dark eyes. “Let’s just have a little reminder lesson, shall we? Stand up and strip, pet. Lose everything but the ring…” His words laced with love rather than reproach, and Jenna felt the last pieces of the ice that she’d wrapped around her heart so long ago melt away.