Chapter 22
Jenna knew when she woke up alone in Colt’s large bed something had changed. There was a tension in the air that was making the hair on the back of her neck tingle. She showered and dressed quickly and made her way to the kitchen to find both Colt and Mitch sitting at the table. They were speaking in low tones, and it was obvious they were not pleased with whatever had roused them so early. They both looked up as she entered the room with Colt being the first to speak. “Good morning, princess. How did you sleep?”
“Um, fine, thank you.” Jenna’s voice gave away her concern “What’s happened? What’s wrong? Are my brothers and sister-in-law all right? Oh God, are my parents both okay?” By the time she’d finished, she was starting to tremble.
“Jenna, breathe, please! Christ you look ready to pass out. Everyone is fine, but there are some things we need to talk to you about. There have been some developments related to the search for the woman who helped Katarina escape in Las Vegas. Also, our Pentagon contact has sent a liaison here, and he isn’t someone any of us are particularly comfortable with, so we need to return to ShadowDance later today. Now, please, let’s get you something to eat.” They hadn’t intended to blurt it all out so suddenly, but her panic had made it necessary.
After filling her plate with a mountain of scrambled eggs, sausage links, and toast, they’d given her a glass of orange juice and sat with her at the table. Colt had placed his chair close to hers, and with his hand on the back of her chair, he slowly rubbed the back of her neck and shoulders, easing the tension she hadn’t even realized had been slowly squeezing her muscles. She ate as much as she could and assured them she was full to the gills. Colt had taken her hand, kissing the back as he pulled her to her feet. “Let’s go out on the deck and talk, shall we? Everything is always better in the warm sunshine.” Okay, now she was starting to worry again. What needed to be better?
* * * *
Colt didn’t need Grayson’s gift of empathetic hearing to know Jenna was strung tight, Holy Mother of God but her muscles felt like they were being stretched to the max, and her body language was radiating anxiety. He’d sat her in a cushioned chair and pulled another chair up so close in front of her so that when he sat, their knees were touching. He took both of her hands in his as Mitch sat down close by. “Sweetheart, after we found out what happened with Ted Scott, we contacted our former commander, who is now our contact for the contract work we still do for Uncle Sam. General Franklin is having some memory and health issues, so he is sending his aide out for a few days.” His words were calm and measured, but he could see from her wary expression, he wasn’t saying anything to ease her feeling that something was very wrong. “I am the only one who has personally met Theodore James, that is the aide’s name, but we have all talked to him and agree there is something about the man that is just off, and I’d feel better if Grayson and I were back at the mansion while he is on-site. I understand we were supposed be here until the end of the week, and I feel as if I’m letting you down by insisting we return.” And that was a huge understatement, considering her issues with people claiming to care about her and then hurting her, both physically and by abandoning her. He was felt like he was doing a lot worse than just letting her down.
Jenna seemed to relax a bit. “It’s all right. While, yes, I am disappointed our time has been cut short, I understand that this has to take precedence. Please don’t feel badly about this, I’ll just go to my room and gather my things.” While her words sounded like she was fine, the fact that she wouldn’t look him directly in the eyes screamed that she had just put him in the category with everyone else who had ever walked away when she’d needed them. A quick glance at Grayson confirmed his fears. The set of Grayson’s jaw and the spark of anger in his eyes was all Colt needed to know she was putting on a brave front to hide her hurt.Goddamn it to hell, why fucking now? Things were going so well, and now I’m just like the rest. I can practically see her locking me out.She stood and made her way to the door, glancing back once before turning and going back inside. The emotional mask was in place, but it wasn’t fooling either of them.
Colt let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. “She’s shutting down, isn’t she? Fuck, why am I even asking? I can see it, it’s written all over her. Christ, why now?”
“Yeah, she’s closed herself back in the safe place she built after the rape. We’ll get her back, but it’s not going to be easy. The key is going to be keeping her from bolting the minute she hits the mansion.” Grayson’s words confirmed Colt’s worst fears. Colt had already alerted Alex and Zach that they’d be returning early. He’d also asked that they find some mechanical reason to have her car moved to their maintenance department, which had been dubbed “the garage.” The mechanic they employed was a master at deception, he’d be able to concoct some reason that her car needed some of his TLC before it was roadworthy again. But Colt knew keeping her physically located at ShadowDance was only a small portion of the battle, but getting her heart to remain as well was going to be the real challenge.
* * * *
Jenna walked numbly down the hall. Why was she was disappointed?God, you are being a first-class selfish bitch, Jenna Lamont. Your brothers and best friend, not to mention your niece or nephew, shouldn’t have to deal with this asshole aide person alone.She knew she should trust Colt. If they felt that something was off about the guy, then of course the head of the security team and the chief IT person needed to be there. But the sudden heaviness in her chest wasn’t easing with any of her logical arguments.Jesus, Jenna, you knew this would happen. Just because it’s earlier than you’d expected doesn’t mean you should feel disappointed. Take the memories you’ve been given and be grateful instead of acting like a spoiled toddler whose favorite toy has been taken away.She quickly repacked the few things she’d brought with her and, grabbing her small case, walked back into the living room.
Colt watched as she moved quietly back into the main part of the house. Her shuttered expression ripped his heart to shreds, and even knowing it wasn’t something he could have anticipated or avoided didn’t do anything to ease his guilt. The drive back to ShadowDance seemed even longer today, and the tension was thick and hung heavily in the truck. Rather than resting as Colt had suggested, Jenna just sat and looked blankly out the window, no expression, no words, no real presence.
Jenna felt the tension, but was too keyed up to rest, she just wanted to get back the house, check on her family, pack, and disappear for a few months. She would plan to be back before the baby was born, but she didn’t want to be home for Christmas. It was so hard to come home, and she always felt like she was on the outside looking in, like a small orphan watching a family celebrate Christmas through the windows of their home. You could see everything, hear it all, even smell all the delicious food being shared by one and all, but in the end, you still didn’t belong there. She felt a tear slip over the edge of her watery eyes and slide down her cheek and tried to quickly brush it aside before Colt noticed. But when he drove into the next driveway and stopped, she knew she’d been too late.
Turning toward her, he just held his arms open wide, and she didn’t even hesitate. She unfastened her safety belt and almost leapt across the seat into his embrace. “Talk to me, princess. It breaks my heart to see you hurting and know that you are locking yourself away again. Please don’t do that to either of us. Tell me what you are thinking. Just because we are returning early, doesn’t mean I don’t want you, it just means that I want to protect you and your family, and I know ShadowDance is the best place to put those plans in place.” Colt’s sincere words seemed to relax her a bit, but he continued to just hold her tightly against his chest and rub his hands soothingly over her taut back muscles.
After long moments, she finally looked into his eyes. The sadness was still there, but it seemed to him that some of the distance might have been gone. “I just thought you had found a convenient way to set me aside. I don’t really blame you. Every time I’ve tried to have a normal relationship since, well, since the night everything changed, I end up pushing away any guy who tries to get close. Every single time, it’s just easier than being hurt again. I have never told another soul about Ted Scott, but each man I’ve ever dated has told in some way or another that I am just too damaged to keep around. One was even cruel enough to tell me that he’d only gone out with me because of my parents’ money, and even that wasn’t enough to merit dealing with such ‘damaged goods.’” Colt felt the low growl rumble through his chest and knew Jenna had seen the flash of cold anger he’d felt before he was able to mask it. He needed to make sure she knew his anger wasn’t directed at her, but at the ass who had fed her that bullshit.
“Never, ever believe that nonsense. There is so much about you that is perfect, it should have humbled any man just to have you agree to spend time with him. The beauty of who you are—both inside and out—brings me to my knees, princess. Please believe that returning to the mansion is in no way a reflection on where I want us to go. If I wasn’t concerned about the safety of your family, we’d still be at the cabin.” And then with a waggle of his eyebrows and a devilish grin, he added, “And I’d be as deep inside your hot, slick channel as I could get.”
His words had their desired effect, and she finally smiled a bit, even though tears still shone in her dark-green eyes. Colt had noticed the shade of her eyes depended on her mood. He could see she was too lost in the moment to even speak. She just hugged him for a long moment, then brushed a soft kiss over his lips before sliding back to her side of the truck and refastening her safety belt.
* * * *
Kat was anxious for Jenna and Colt to return. She felt bad that their little adventure had been cut short, but she couldn’t wait to hear each and every detail.Oh yeah...girls gab session tonight, for sure. Woohoo!Kat loved living at ShadowDance, but there were times that she really missed having a girlfriend to chat with. One of the great things she’d discovered about having two husbands was that at least one of them was usually available if she needed a helping hand or a shoulder to cry on, but there was nothing like girl talk to restore the soul. She’d been pacing in the living room for an hour when Alex had stepped into the doorway, leaning a shoulder against the jamb in that too-sexy-for-my-own-good way he had and said, “Love, they will be here soon enough, please sit down before you wear yourself out.” Then she stuck her tongue out at him. He raised a brow and asked her, “Hmmm, do we need to have a little focus-Katarina session, love? You know I’ll be happy to lend you a hand.” His smile told her the play on words was deliberate, and he knew full well her pussy was soaking her silk panties, the rat bastard.Damn him, I’m going to have to go upstairs and change if he doesn’t knock that off.
She glanced out the window and let out a high-pitched squeal and took off for the door before Alex bellowed, “Katarina, stop!” She froze and looked at him, clearly puzzled. After all she was just going to let in his sister and their security chief.What on earth is eating him?Alex answered her unasked question, “Until this mess is all settled, we’ll ask that you not just throw open the door exposing yourself and our sweet child to potential dangers.Yep, total rat bastard. He knows exactly how to get me to comply with his damned edicts about my safety, he plays that “Our sweet child” card, and I’m toast. Damn, damn, and double damn!
Stepping around Katarina and using a gentle hand to the small of her back to move her to the side, he opened the door and greeted his sister and Colt. Grayson was already in the Crow’s Nest, having arrived a few minutes earlier. “Welcome home. I’m sorry we’ve cut into your time, and I promise we’ll make it up to you both.” Jenna smiled, but he could see the strain around her eyes, and Katarina had sensed it immediately and pulled her friend into a fierce hug. Actually Alex had to chuckle as he watched Jenna try to hug his wife around her nicely rounded belly. He and Zach had already placed money on twins, but they hadn’t mentioned it to Katarina yet. “Ladies, if you’d like to move up to the suite, I’ll ask Selita to bring you up a tray while Colt and I have a sitrep.”
Katarina just rolled her eyes “Don’t go all soldier boy on me, husband mine, and yes, we would appreciate whatever Selita has available. We’ll be having a great time without you, so don’t you skimp on that ‘sitrep’ on our account.” She gave him a smirk that she knew was going to get her at least a couple of playful swats later, or at least she sure hoped so.God I miss our wild sexual antics. And double damn those stupid pregnancy books those two read like they were the guiding texts of the universe or something. Waiting until after the baby gets here to get the good stuff totally sucks!
The girls were already chattering like magpies on their way up the stairs, and he and Colt stood watching them like a couple of lovesick fools. “I don’t know how she does it. I swear to you, if another sub talked to me like that, she’d have punishments stacked up through next summer. I know she does it to get to me, but I just can’t seem to work up any real steam about it.” Alex chuckled to himself and then added, “And Zach is even worse with her than I am. Christ, at least I pretend to scold her.” At that, Colt laughed out loud.
“Never thought I’d live to see the day, but damned if I’m not right there with you. But that is another problem altogether. I’ll be enlisting your help to keep your sweet sister here when this other mess is put to rest.” Colt looked at his friend and smiled. “She is everything I’ve always wanted. I’ve been in love with her for years, but you already know that. I won’t let her go. I just want you to know that up front.”
Now it was Alex’s turn to laugh. “Damn, Zach just won the bet. I’d figured you’d at least wait until the end of sitrep to tell me, and he’d said you’d blurt it out first thing through the front door. God, there’ll be no living with him for months, and you just cost me $5,000 to the charity of his choice.” Alex’s laughter and slap to Colt’s back told him it was all in good fun, but Colt had to smile to himself. These were going to be his brothers-in-law as soon as he could convince Jenna to marry him, and damned if having his best friends as brothers wasn’t about the second-sweetest thing about his whole plan.