* * *
“You’re such a cheat!”Bryce complains, giving Hudson a look of disgust. “I knew we should have given Louisa the job of banker. You’ve been nicking money, haven’tyou?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Hudson responds, feigning innocence. “Just because I’m a better business man than you, there’s no need to castaspersions.”
“Erm, Hudson, Bryce is right, you’ve been pilfering money since the start,” I say, leaning behind him and pulling a wad of bank notes from his back pocket. I wave them in theair.
Hudson snatches the money from me with alaugh.
“You gotme.”
“Whaaaat!” Max throws his hands up in the air in mock disgust. “The banker wanker strikesagain.”
“Banker wanker?” I giggle. I’ve never heard that turn of phrase before and it’s made even funnier hearing Max say it about Hudson. “You guys are adorable,” I say, before I can stopmyself.
“Adorable, eh? I’m not sure adorable is the best adjective to describe my brother. Frankly, wanker suits him better,” Brycegrumbles.
“Oy, sore loser, enough of the wanker,” Hudson says, chucking the money at Bryce. The notes flutter to thefloor.
Bryce raises his eyebrows, smirking. “This is not fifty-two card pick up, I’m not falling for that again.” With that he gets up and heads into the kitchen. “I fancy a beer, anyone else want adrink?”
Max starts to put the game away. I helphim.
“A beer for me too, Bryce” Maxresponds.
“I’ll have a glass of red. Louisa, would you like something?” Hudson asksme.
I don’t normally drink. For obvious reasons, Mum has put me off alcohol, but it is Christmas and one wouldn’t hurt. “Sure, a glass of red wine would be lovely,” I say. I haven’t actually drunk red wine much, but before Richard realised just quite how bad my mum’s alcoholism was, red wine had been their drink of choice. Somehow it reminds me of him, and happier times. Back then, she had almost beaten heraddiction.
“Coming up,” Bryce says. “Hey, Max, give us a hand with some nibbles. I’m already hungryagain.”
“Sure,” Max says, getting up, leaving Hudson and me to tidy up the boardgames.
Behind us Max and Bryce discuss what they are going to serve up, leaving me alone with Hudson. I’m not particularly hungry, full still from the huge Christmas dinner I consumed earlier. But these guys are always eating. I have no idea why they aren’t overweight beasts but then, given their physiques, they aren’t exactly strangers toexercise.
“Louisa,” Hudson says, placing his hand on top of myown.
“Hmm?”
“Earlier, when Bryce said what hedid…”
I sit back on my haunches, pulling my hand out from underneath his. “You don’t have to explain anything. I’m fine, honestly,” I say. He really has no need to justify his way of life to me. I have no claim overhim.
Hudson ignores me. Apparently, sharing his thoughts is his aim, and he isn’t about tostop.
“He wasn’t lying. That’s exactly how I led my life. Working hard, then fucking. Pretty much that, repeatedly. It prevented me from really consideringstuff.”
“Stuff?” I search his face andwait.
Hudson sighs. “Why I am the way I am. I mean, I know why, I just never wanted to figure it all out before. To heal, is what I’m trying to say. I was happy with my life. Work kept me busy and fucking kept my past at bay. It temporarily filled ahole.”
“And you aren’t happy now?” I ask,frowning.
He bites at his fingernail. “No, I mean, yes, I am. I’m proud of the business I’ve built,we’vebuilt. I love my brothers even when they act like dicks most of the time,” he says, glancing at them, a smile pulling at hislips.
“But?”
“Something is changing. I have no fucking clue whether it is a good or a bad thing, but I want to try and figure my shit out once and for all. When I get home, I’ll be hooking up with my shrink again. Iwantto be a better version of myself. It’s about fucking time, to behonest.”