Chapter 21
Harley
“Is he okay?”I ask as I bust through the doors of the clubhouse.
The call I received was one of the scariest of my life.Not knowing how bad he was hurt and, at the same time, knowing there was nothing I could do for him.
“He’s okay,” Gramps says as he catches me before I go further into the clubhouse.“Physically and emotionally, he’s hurting.He had a fistfight with his dad.No matter how much they don’t like each other, that’s still a big mindfuck.I, of all people, know that.He’s going to need you to be there for him right now, but not ask him a bunch of questions.Can you do that push pop?Can you be what he needs and not demand answers he can’t give?”
As much as I want to be annoyed at him for asking this of me, I know he’s doing it for my own good.“I can, but I need to see him first.”
He holds me tighter.“Make sure you can, because you don’t get to do this twice.He needs you.This isn’t about you, it’s about him.”
I want to argue that anything involving him is about me but, then again, I won’t ever know how he feels.My dad and I have always had a good relationship.Knowing Grandpa Liam didn’t have a good one with his father, I decide he’s the one I need to listen to in this situation.“Okay, you’re right.Give me a few and I’ll keep it together.”
I walk out to the back porch and take a few moments, breathing in the warm air and allowing it to wash over my body.It goes into my lungs, replacing the stress with what I hope is calm.Resting my palms on my stomach, I do what’s started to come more naturally to me.Up and down, I rub against the stretched skin, letting it soothe my nerves.
Squaring my shoulders, I resolve to be the person Bishop needs.He’s been the one I’ve needed through this pregnancy and before.If it hadn’t been for him during high school, I’m not sure I would’ve made it.Back then, I was going through so much, trying to come to terms with what had happened to Justice and my part in it.He’d held me up when I thought I’d fall.Now, I want to be his strength.
Walking back in, I look around, taking note of everyone in the room.Bishop’s not here.Slowly, I make my way back to his dorm.The place where we’ve spent so much time together.Where I’m almost positive we created the life inside me.Putting my hand on my stomach, I knock slightly on the door, not sure what I’m about to enter into.
“Hey,” I whisper as I cross over the threshold.
He doesn’t look at me and it breaks my heart.The way he stares away from me, his jaw set.Regardless of how he says he isn’t affected, I know he is.Anyone would be.
“Get outta here,” he whispers, his jaw barely moving.
“Let me see you,” I press, going over to the desk and turning on the light.
He refuses to turn.
“Please,” I beg.
He jerks his head so fast I’m almost sure he gives himself whiplash.“Is this what you wanna see, Harley?Me in the bed, beat to shit because I still can’t stand up to my father?”
“No, I don’t think that at all.He used something.”I reach out to grab his bruised hands.“Caelin told me it wasn’t a fair fight.”
“It never is with him.I don’t know why I thought it might be this time.”
“Because we want to believe the best of our parents.”I shrug.‘We aren’t wired to believe our parents are the ones who are going to hurt us.”
“Yet he’s the one who hurt me.How can I ever think I’ll be a good father, Lee?This is what I have as an example.I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing here.”
His voice is hoarse and I can barely hear him as he spills his guts to me.
“That’s the perfect thing about having our own family.We can rewrite the past and plan our future to be better.We don’t have to be the sum of all our parts.”
“But what if we can’t?”He asks.“What if we can’t overcome how we were raised?How can I do this to you?To our child?”
Irritated, I let my mouth fly.Let him hear exactly what I’m thinking.“How can you be this much of a coward, Bishop?Not fight for what you want?To let them win?That’s what you need to come to grips with.”
“A coward?Fuck you, Harley.”
Setting my jaw, I give him a glare.“Think about what I said.Let me know what you want to do with our family, because I know who you are - and this isn’t you.”
“Maybe you don’t know me as well as you thought,” he bites out.
Admitting it is harder than I expect it to be.“Maybe I don’t, but you’re the only one who can prove me right or wrong.”