9
mckenzie
I slidemy hands into the green fabric gloves and flex my fingers. "These fit really well."
"Toss 'em in," Austin says.
I place the gardening gloves in the shopping cart beside the large forks, pruning shears, and trowels, and continue making my way down the aisle. My gaze flits around the gardening section of the home-improvement department store. I haven’t felt this excited about the promise of manual labor in... Well, ever. But I can’t wait to start cleaning out the vegetable bed.
"Do you think we'll have time to work on the garden tonight?" I ask.
Austin stares straight ahead, presumably lost in thought.
“Sorry, what?” he asks, shaking himself. I repeat the question. "Should have a couple hours of daylight left by the time we get back."
Don’t read into it,I tell myself. But of course, that’s exactly what I do. Austin has seemed distracted since our uncharacteristically wordless drive to work this morning. When I asked him if something was wrong, he just said he was tired—which makes sense, considering the intensity of the sex we had last night.
God, the sex...
I could flood the aisle thinking about how good Austin made me feel. I’ve had sex before, though always as a means to an end. But in Austin’s strong, capable daddy hands, he made even the simple act of touching feel brand new.
What’s more, he mademefeel brand new.
But there’s no denying that something has changed between us, and not for the better. There’s a reticence in his gaze that wasn’t there before.
I’m instantly on edge.
We pick up a few more supplies and then head to checkout. I decided to hold off on buying seeds, plants, and compost until after we’ve cleaned out the bed, leaving more room in the back of Austin’s truck for the digging tools and landscaping fabric.
Back at the house, we unload the tools and carry them to the overgrown garden bed. I run inside to change out of my work clothes. By the time I come back out, Austin’s already got his shirt off and his gloves pulled on.
“All right, boss baby,” he says, sounding more like himself. “Put your daddy to work.”
Maybe he was just stressed about work.I pull on my new gloves and scan the garden bed. "Let's clear out all the dead stuff first."
We start by pulling out dead flowers, dry vegetable stalks and brown grasses. With Austin’s help, it takes almost no time to clear away the plant litter. And even though neither of us is particularly chatty throughout the process, it’s a good, productive silence.
With the dead stuff out of the way, it’s much easier to see where the herbs and other perennials are hiding. I grab my shiny new trowel and begin digging out the plants I want to keep, roots and all, setting them aside until I know where I want to put them.
“You can use the shovel to dig up all the weeds in this corner,” I tell Austin.
“Sounds good.” He brushes the plant dust from his gloves. I catch him staring at me a few seconds later with that same strained look on his face.
“What is it?” I ask. “Do I have dirt on my cheek?”
"Little bit." His mouth twitches. "It looks good on you, though."
I drag my forearm across my cheek. Another long pause stretches between us.
“Kenz,” Austin says. “About last night...”
I tense.
“What about last night?”
My throat closes.I knew it.He regrets having sex with me, but he’s trying to let me down easy, so he won’t hurt my feelings.
"You said something,” Austin says, “before you fell asleep.”