“Why don’t we all take a deep breath.” The level of concern in Mary’s voice makes me want to shove butter knives into my ears. “We don’t have to talk about this now. Let’s just finish the meal.”
It feels as though someone has swapped out my stomach for a bucket of live eels. I couldn’t clean my plate if I wanted to. What’s more, I can’t imagine sitting at this table again tomorrow knowing the person seated across from me—who’s supposed to be my friend—is thinking about what an emotional wreck I am. Not when that same person is always telling me not to say shit like that about myself.
I already know I’m a mess. I don’t need to dredge up old crap that doesn’t matter anymore. That ugly time in my life is over. I’m doing the best I can right now. If that’s not good enough for Holly and Cal, then there’s only one thing to do.
I pick up my plate and carry it into the kitchen, ignoring the voices calling me back to the table. I’ve barely scraped my dinner into the trash when I hear footfalls.
“I’m so sorry, Kenzie.” Hollywood rushes over to me. “Forget everything I said. I shouldn’t have asked Mary to come.”
“You should’ve told me you invited her.”
“You’re right. It was a stupid idea.”
I take my dish to the sink and begin rinsing it with hot water. Bracing my forearms on the counter, I inhale a steadying breath as Hollywood moves closer.
“I didn’t realize how disruptive my nightmares have become,” I say. “Though I probably should have seen this coming after what you and Cal said yesterday.”
“Kenzie, please—”
“You won’t have to deal with them anymore because Austin offered to let me rent one of his guestrooms.”
She shakes her head. “No, I don’t want you to leave.”
“Well, I want to go.” I shut off the water and turn to face her. “I don’t even know why I stayed this long, because it’s become so fucking clear that whatever vision you and Cal have for your future, it doesn’t include me.”
“That’s not true.” Her lip trembles. “You belong here—”
“As long as I don’t wake the baby.”
Hollywood holds her head in her hands as the tears start to fall. I suddenly feel like the world’s biggest asshole for ruining a pregnant woman’s makeup.
I grab a paper towel off the roll and hand it to her so she can blow her nose.
“Look, this was inevitable,” I tell her. “You and Cal deserve some peace and quiet in your own home, at least until the baby comes. I’ll still come to your shower, if you want me to.”
“Of course I want you to!” She sniffles.
After a long, tear-filled hug, I tiptoe up to my room to text Austin:I hope you were serious about renting me that room.