CAL
The redhead appears at Justin’s side. “Caleb’s sleeping. Why don’t you come back in the morning, or we can drop him off?” Her voice is soft. A stark contrast to Justin.
I wipe my nose on my arm, smearing the blood across my skin. “I want to see him.”
Justin deflates his chest and steps back, allowing me room to enter the house.
Walking into the hall, I take the stairs two steps at a time, using my top to wipe the blood from my nose. Once at the top of the stairs, it’s obvious which room’s his. The door is ajar with a soft glow shining through the gap. I creep inside the small room lit by a night light on the baby monitor.
He’s sleeping in his cot like an angel. I fall to my knees as my legs give way and tears burn like acid in my eyes. I hold back the emotion and my throat prickles. Justin was right. I fucking hate him, but I won’t wake my son from this peaceful sleep into this fucking nightmare of our reality.
I sit still, watching him suckle on his dummy. His eyelids flicker, his black hair is all mussed and wild. I never thought I’d have anything else in this world that I treasured like my girls, but I was wrong.
He’s like a rare jewel that I held once before it was taken from me. Now God’s given me another, and I’ll be damned if anyone is gonna take this away from me.
As my blurry gaze floats upwards, Steph is hovering above me. She kneels, wrapping her arms around me.
I wipe my eyes. “I’m not gonna wake him.” My voice is a whisper. She stands and holds her hand out to me, and I use it to pull myself up. We walk down the stairs to Justin in the hallway with a tense jaw and blue piercing eyes like shards of glass following my every move.
I stare back as I walk out the door, back to my car. Steph apologises to Justin and Maxine before getting into the passenger seat.
All I want to do is bring my son home, but I don’t even have a fucking car seat, let alone anywhere for him to sleep. How fucking stupid. What was I thinking?
The drive is quiet. Steph glares out the window into the dark night, illuminated by street lamps as we drive through town. Thank fuck she’s stopped crying. I just don’t have the energy to deal with her at the moment.
I pull up at the traffic lights, and she turns to me. “How’s your face?”
“Fine,” I snap.
“Can I see?” She leans over and touches my cheek, causing me to flinch as if her touch stings, no longer igniting me like she used to. She’s caused nothing but headaches these last few days.
“Your eye’s cut.” She reaches over again to touch the wound. Her words are like venom, and I swat her hand away, revving the engine once the lights turn green. I couldn’t give a fuck about my eye or nose or anything. Nothing feels worse than the emptiness inside.
“Do you still love Justin?” I glance her way for a second, taking my eyes off the road.
Her eyebrows pinch. “No. Why would I?”
“Why not? You were desperate to stay with him before. Nothing I did would entice you away from him. What’s changed?”
“I want to be with you. I’ve always wanted to be with you.”
She says it so matter of fact, like I should already know, like she hasn’t been pushing me away for the last two years. “Funny that, because you’ve had plenty of opportunities.”
“I tried to contact you. We’ve been through this. When I saw you at the wedding, I thought you’d come home to me; that you wanted to be with us.”
“I don’t want to be with you.” A wave of adrenaline shoots through me as I spit out the words.
“What?” She blinks rapidly and shakes her head. “After all the times you asked me to leave him? I thought you’d be happy?”
“Yeah. I’m fucking ecstatic. It’s just a shame that now I know how selfish you are.”
“Are you serious?” She stares at me in disbelief.
“I’m sorry, Steph, but I can’t forgive you.”
“You can't forgive me? You're the one at fault here, not me. I’m not the one that disappeared without a trace. And I've had to go it alone because you were too selfish.”
“You’ve let me miss out on my son’s life after everything I went through with Jax. If I hadn’t gone to that wedding, would I have ever known?”