I still have my arm wrapped around her waist and can’t move my feet. It takes all my strength to prize myself away from her and step back.
“Are you back for good?”
“Just a few weeks. Brought the girls’ home during their school holidays to see my mum.”
Her face drops, and she nods. “Will I see you again?”
“I doubt it. I’m going back next week.”
She shoves against my chest. “You selfish bastard.” Her eyes turn cold and dark like a hollow tree in a deep forest. She spins around and crosses the gravel path, pushing open the double doors to the entrance.
The music muffles as I walk back into the venue and watch her storm into the women’s restroom. I’m selfish? She’s the one that wants to have her cake and eat it. She wants me when it suits her.
Every muscle in my body tenses, screaming at me to hire one of these rooms and make love to her all night, but I wouldn’t be strong enough to walk away again. It’s better this way.
I head back to the bar to the guys, needing another whiskey. Sarah stands with James and the woman with the baby.
“Have you seen Steph?” Sarah asks.
“No, why?” I don’t want to get her in trouble with Justin, or want anyone to think there’s something going on with us again.
The woman with the baby widens her smile. “I didn’t know you were back, Cal.”
Jerry places a hand on her back. So this is who Jerry was having an affair with. I recognise her now, Trish, from finance. My head tilts, getting a good look at the kid wriggling in her arms.
“Here, he’s a little irritable since his mummy disappeared.” She thrusts him into my arms.
My throat grows thick. James gives Sarah a knowing look and then glances at Chris with wide eyes. Do they know about Jax, the son I lost? Can they tell I’m freaking out as my lungs won’t function?
I glance down at the kid in my arms. His brown eyes gaze up at me through long dark lashes and he stops his fidgeting. The full head of thick black hair reminds me of my Jax, and the emptiness floods my chest.
His little hand touches my cheek as if he can sense the sadness in my heart. All I hear is the throb in my temple. Numbness creeps up my spine and all I feel is the pulse in my neck as thoughts of Jax blur my mind.
“Ah, she’s here.” Trish says, bringing me back to the present.
My eyes wander up to see Steph walking towards us with wide eyes. Her eyebrows squish together. She’s still pissed with me. What the fuck have I done?
Trish rubs the kid’s back. “Your mummy’s here.”
I turn to Trish. “Mummy?”
Steph snatches the kid from me. “You can’t just waltz back here after all this time and play the doting dad.” Her eyes are burning a fierce green.
The kid cries. Steph kisses his forehead and says, “Mummy’s here.”
“What the fuck?” Everyone’s eyes turn to me, and I clear my throat.
Steph sucks in a breath. She spins around and walks away. I knock back my whiskey before following her.
“Steph.” My fingers wrap around her arm, pulling her back to me. I take a good look at the dark-haired kid. He peers back up at me. “Is he yours?”
She swallows before she speaks. The word comes out choked. “Who else would he belong to?”
My fingers dig into my forehead as I rub the thrashing pain screaming in my head. “How old is he?” My hand squeezes her arm tight. “How old is he, Steph?” I growl, not caring who sees or hears.
“Five months, but you’d know that if you cared to contact me.” Her voice wavers along with her trembling chin.
I pause. My mind scrambling to do the math, but I can’t think straight. Fuck. I shouldn’t have knocked back those whiskeys. I shake my head. “When was he born?”