“I’ll learn. I’ll manage. Anything has to be better than putting our kids through this misery. It must rub off on them, seeing me miserable all the time.”
“Is that why you’re miserable cos lover boy moved to Australia?”
“No, I think I’m miserable because every day I have to put on a fake smile and pretend I’m happy to be your wife. I’d sooner be alone even if that means cooking my own meals, putting the bin out and picking up the dog mess and all those other jobs that you brag about like you deserve a friggin’ medal.”
He huffs. “I’d love to see you cope without me.”
I lean forward in the seat, gripping the armrest. “What about all the jobs I do? Is that why you don’t want a divorce? Are you worried about who’s going to iron and wash your clothes and do the pots? I’m sure Maxine will be happy to clean up after you.”
He taps his fingers on the desk. “What are you doing here, anyway? Shouldn’t you be at work?”
I slump in the chair and drop my head back, closing my eyes as I let out a long breath. “I’m pregnant.” My eyes open, and I lift my head to get his reaction.
He leans forward, resting his elbows on the desk, and runs a hand over his face. “How far?”
“Nine weeks.”
He stares at the desk calendar right in front of him while he does the math. “Greece?” His eyebrows pinch. “I knew we should have used something.”
He thinks it’s his. “Yes, we should. Especially as you’d been shagging mingy Maxine.”
“Don’t call her that,” he snaps with slanted eyes and stands from the chair as he paces the room, stroking his clean-shaven jaw.
“She’s the reason you wanted a vasectomy, isn’t she?”
He stops and looks at me. “One reason. I didn’t want any more kids, Steph.”
“Neither did I, but it’s too late now.”
“We can’t get a divorce. I’ll do better. I’m a good father, you know that, and I’ll do better for this one, I promise.”
His words crush my chest. Even after everything he still wants to do right by this baby. “You don’t have to worry. It’s not yours.”
“What?” His eyes flit back to mine.
“It’s Callum’s. The dates point to after Greece.”
His fingers rub his temples. “You’re sure?”
I swallow and nod. My heart beats in my throat. “With our past track record and the vasectomy, it’s obvious it’s his.”
He wipes his hand over his face and lets out a long sigh. “Jeez, I have to admit, Steph. I’m sort of relieved. I really didn’t want to have to go through all that again, with the nighttime feeds and nappy changing and everything else.”
I screw my face up. “Since when did you do the night time feeds? And I think you only ever changed the odd nappy.”
“You know what I mean. It’s hard to sleep when you have a newborn crying every two hours.” He bends into the chair and swings back with a slight smile on his face. “It’s lover boys, then? But how if he’s in Australia?”
“I saw him before he went.” A dull ache grows in my stomach like a weed zapping all my energy when I think of him in Australia.
Justin stares blankly at me with a tense jaw. He cracks his knuckles and twists the wedding band on his finger.
“I asked you for a divorce a few weeks ago and you manipulated me back when Cairen was ill. You’re not doing the same again. The best thing we can do is divorce. If you care for me at all, you will support me and help me. If you want to be with Maxine, go for it. I won’t stand in the way of two people that love each other.”
He stares at me for a while, bouncing back on his office chair. “You’re right. Maybe I could have got past the infidelity, but this pregnancy changes everything. There’s no way I can stand by while you have another man’s kid.”
“I never expected you to.”
“Don’t ask me to sell the house.”