Cal places his empty cup in the sink. “Let's not say goodbye then.”
I look into his desperate eyes, pleading with me. “But I can't see you again.”
He leans back against the counter and looks down at his feet. “I know. If you’re not gonna leave him, I don't want to see you again either. I can't take you leaving me for him time after time.”
I step closer and slide my arms around his waist, feeling the warmth of his body. “Let's just say I love you and leave it at that.”
He cups my cheeks in his hands and lifts my face to his. “I do love you, Steph.”
“Cal.” My words come out choked as the lump rises in my throat. Moisture gathers in the corners of my eyes. I wrap my arms around his shoulders and nuzzle my face into his neck, soaking up his aftershave mixed with the sweet smell of him. The rough stubble that runs onto his neck scratches my cheek and I kiss him there, feeling the hairs on my lips.
“I love you more than you’ll ever know. There are no words to describe how much I love you, Cal.”
He pulls away, holding me at arm’s length to look into my eyes. “I know Steph. I know exactly how you feel because I feel the same about you.” He rests his forehead against mine and kisses my nose. “Take care of yourself.”
“You too, Cal.” I kiss his lips and walk out the door, not looking back. If I look back, I’ll cry, not knowing when I will see him again, and once I let the tears out, I don’t think I’ll be able to stop. I’ve been here so many times. How many times can two people say goodbye? This is the last time. I can’t take anymore. It’s all or nothing.