“Don’t worry, I’ll put tea on simmer. It’s nearly done.”
“What we having?”
“I’ve done pasta.”
“Okay, thanks. See you soon.”
My head is all over the place. I wish Cal had given me his journal before now. I would’ve loved to read it when we were dating, although it would have probably only made the split harder, knowing how he really felt about me.
Somehow, I had convinced myself that he never really loved me. How could he have? He left me and still wanted to be friends. How could we be friends? Surely he never loved me as much as I did him, but reading things from his perspective has made me see him in a different light.
I blow out a puff of air through my lips. My chest caves as I turn on the engine and pull off his estate. I can’t wait here indefinitely. Who knows when he’ll be home? Plus, I don’t want to run into the biker duo again.
* * *
Inhalinga deep breath through my nostrils, I get a hint of the garlic bread and herby pasta sauce. “Justin, this smells delicious.”
He turns away from the stove and smiles, wiping his hand on his grey joggers.
“Have you been to the gym again?”
“Yeah. I finished work a little early.” He scratches the back of his neck, then runs a hand through his damp hair.
He’s been going to the gym a lot lately, on some sort of health kick. At least he’s stopped pestering me to go, and finally got the message that I’ll never enjoy working out. Not with him, anyway.
“Cassie, come and set the table,” he shouts, draining off the pasta. He places it back on the worktop, and I serve it onto the plates. His arm wraps around my waist, and he delicately presses a kiss to the side of my forehead. He’s been very attentive these last few weeks, but after reading Cal’s journal today, I can’t stop thinking about Cal and how I wish it was him in my kitchen kissing my forehead.
I sit at the table with Cassie and Cairen while Justin slices the garlic baguette. I’m suddenly not hungry as the acid rises into my mouth.
“How was work today?”
“Good, same old.” Although it has been anything but. I can’t wait to get back there tomorrow to read more of his journal.
“Here, get some garlic bread.” Justin hands me the plate, and I take several pieces. Another change in Justin I’m grateful for. After fifteen years of marriage, he’s finally accepted me for me. Either that or he’s just past caring.
“How was school, kids?”
“Mum, can Chloe come over at the weekend to play?” Cassie asks.
I roll my eyes. “I thought you hated her?”
“She’s my best friend.”
I can’t keep up. “You hated her a few weeks ago.”You hated Cal a few weeks ago, and today you’ve been sitting outside his house like a stalker. Fair enough.
“Can she come over, Mum, please?”
“All right.” Oh crap, this means I’ll have to speak to her bitch of a mother. Mrs head of the PTA and chair of the church fayre committee. She makes me sick. Her husband is an accountant and also on the board of governors. The opposite of Cal.
I wonder if this is how Cal’s mum felt when talking to my mother when we were in junior school. He came to every one of my parties growing up. Mum would always throw something lavish and invite the whole class in an attempt to outdo everyone else.
I’m not complaining. What kid doesn’t want a party with all those presents? Though Cal’s gifts were never high on monetary value, they always meant the most to me. I still have the beaded bracelet he made me for my eighth birthday.
Cairen snaps me from my musings. “Mum, if she’s having a friend over, I want a friend over too.”
“You can have a friend over on Sunday.” I can’t deal with a house full of kids all at once.
“I’m not here Saturday,” Justin says.