“Very funny. Uptight describes Huxley, not me.” He’s the second oldest but acts like he’s the oldest, always bossy.
Huxley considers for a moment. “Have to agree. ‘Tight’ doesn’t really describe someone with an anal dildo fetish.”
“Speaking of anal,” I say, “how’s business?”
Grant raises both his hands, palms up, all good humor and harmlessness. He’s the smartest of us, but underneath the sweet-guy façade lies a nuclear asshole. People who screw with him don’t end well.
“Just making an observation,” Grant says. “Both of you often act like you have a stick up your ass.” He takes the seat opposite mine and leans back as far as he can. He knows better than to sit next to me after that observation.
Huxley positions himself to Grant’s left. “Hey, I’m not the one looking at things to shove into my ass.”
“What was who looking at?” Noah says, strolling in, all loose-hipped and happy as usual. Either his book is going well or he’s decided to give himself a break. My money is on the latter.
Then Sebastian arrives. He’s in a suit, probably from a business meeting or something. He’s the heir apparent to Sebastian Jewelry. The reason his name is the same as the company on his mother’s side isn’t because his mom has some weird identity issue. It’s due to the fact that our dad decided remembering seven boys’ names was too much work and named us after our mothers.
We should all thank our lucky stars none of our moms have names like Iphigenia Twocock.
“Nothing,” I reply.
At the same time, Grant says, “A strap-on.”
Noah quirks an eyebrow. “Do you know if you read strap-on backward, it spells ‘no parts’?”
I look up at the ceiling. “Now I can die happy.”
“Just sayin’.” Noah laughs and sits next to me.
Our regular waitress appears with her typical perky smile and light brown hair neatly pulled into a ponytail. Mina is from Iowa, a senior at UCLA, studying history, and works two part-time jobs. We always tip her generously, partially to help fund her education and partially because she’s a damn good waitress, and good work deserves to be rewarded.
She exemplifies typical American apple-pie wholesomeness, and it annoys me that my hormones don’t react to someone like her. Instead, they went wild around Sierra. And now I’m doubly annoyed that I’m thinking about a dildo CEO. Again.
Mina has a magical ability to sense what’s needed. When Noah’s with us, she always brings out the restaurant’s killer bread and salted butter before taking our order because he’s constantly starved for carbs. Tonight isn’t any different. He’s ripping into the bread like he hasn’t eaten in centuries. I don’t know where the calories go, because his abs are as tight as an anaconda’s embrace.
“Everyone getting your usual?” Mina asks with a smile.
There’s a general murmur of assent around the table. I lift my glass. “And another scotch, straight.”
“Got it.”
When she’s gone, Grant turns to me, his eyes bright. “Maybe you should forward pictures of the strap-ons you like to Joey. He might get the hint and quit sending you women.”
Thinking about what Joey did makes my blood boil. He’s lucky he isn’t here.
“Uh-oh. You look mad,” Noah says between bites. “Don’t kick Grant in the face. The only blood I want to see is from the steak.”
“I’m not going to kick him in the face. I’m just furious I had to go to that damned company because of what Joey pulled.”
My brothers don’t ask for details. They already heard when I ranted and vented to them after my blood-pressure-raising call with Joey.
“Couldn’t have been that bad,” Sebastian says. Soothing tempers and egos is what he’s good at. He has to be in order to survive the weird family dynamics and tension on his mom’s side.
“Terrible. Fucking awful.” I shove my fingers into my hair and clench. My scalp hurts, but I don’t care. I need an outlet for my frustration.
“Don’t do that. It causes premature hair loss,” Noah says.
“Do I look like I care?”
“Griff’ll look like a model even if half his scalp is bare,” Huxley jokes. He can tell I’m about to erupt.