She isn’t finished. “Right. So instead of acting in good faith, you used your time to try to seduce me with empty words and gestures. What you’ve given me is exactly like that pot—nothing in it except dirt. But I would’ve believed, Lucas. I would have believed something wonderful could grow from it, and I would’ve poured my heart and soul and life into it…only to end up with nothing. Because you’ve never felt anything real for me.”
“That’s not…” I put down the pot. Some dirt has gotten on my palms, but I barely register that before reaching out and holding her hand in mine. It’s so warm and sweet against my bare skin. “I’m in love with you, Ava.” Tell me I’m enough. Tell me you love me, too. Tell me I’m not some craven bastard for saying this to you, wishing that you’d say it back.
Her face crumples for a moment. Hope stirs within me, but then the voice drowns it. When you say things like “I love you” you’re trying to get the other person to say it back. A vise tightens around my chest. I can’t draw in any air, but I try to keep myself together. This is the most important conversation of my life.
You’re being needy.
My head pounds, and I can barely think. I’m so fucking nauseous, I’m barely standing up, but I do. I have to salvage this…have to save what I have with Ava.
Abruptly a hard mask descends over her face. “Don’t say things you don’t mean, Lucas, just to score a point.”
“Seriously? You think—” I haul in a lungful of air and struggle for control. “You thi
nk I’d say that to a woman I didn’t love?”
“Yes.” She pulls her hand out of my grasp, brushing her palm against her pants. When she looks back up at me, her gaze is as hard and sharp as a guillotine. “I do.”
Don’t touch me.
What did I say about touching me when you’re dirty?
A cacophony of noise rolls through my head. I open and close my grubby hand.
She takes a half step back, shakes her head. “You’re toxic, Lucas…”
The ugly sounds grow louder in my ears, but her voice is crystal clear, cutting through it all like a machete. “Ava,” I whisper, my tongue thick and clumsy. Please stop, please stop, please sto—
“…and that is why I’m done with you.”
——