“I want to make this official. Move back to the States with me. Ava, I might be the most infuriating man you’ve ever met, but I’m open to reform. Just give me a chance.”
I hesitate. I want to say yes. But it’s not that easy, not anymore. I half shrug. “You aren’t the most infuriating man I’ve ever met in my life…”
“I swear I’ll take care of you. I’ll do everything I can to make up for the job you lost. I’ll help you get a new job, introduce you to people.”
The intensity of his gaze sears me. He isn’t just saying this to have me as a regular bedmate again. He really wants me back, and he really wants to make this work. I wish I knew why, but I’m afraid to ask. If he doesn’t say, “Because I love you,” what will I do?
However, staying in Japan is no longer an option regardless of what he says. I wouldn’t stay even if I got another job offer here in the next ten minutes.
“If it’s about the hassle of a trans-Pacific move, I can send a moving crew immediately to your apartment and have them pack everything,” Lucas offers. “We can probably leave by tonight. The plane’s ready.”
My mouth parts. This is all much too fast and too sudden. “Lucas, I can’t just drop everything and go.”
“Why not? You don’t need to give the school any notice.”
“I have friends here.”
“Like that guy in the bar?”
“For your information, he’s Bennie’s boyfriend,” I say dryly. “As in, there is no way he wants me in his bed.”
He gives me a semi-baleful look. “Why didn’t you say that before?”
“Was there any point?” I take a sip of the freshly squeezed grapefruit juice that came with our meal. “Look, Lucas. I need to figure out what I’m going to tell Bennie. I can’t just leave him. He’s been my best friend since we were kids, and he’s basically been the sole constant in my life.”
Lucas stares at me for a moment, assessing and weighing my words. Finally he says, “I feel like what you’re doing is withdrawing from me.”
From the way he immediately flushes, I know he didn’t mean to reveal so much of himself. My heart aches. He’s been so vulnerable to me in this room. And I don’t want to hurt him by being evasive or dishonest. “No other man has been able to occupy my thoughts the way you do.”
“Well…good. But Ava, that’s not enough. I want more.”
He’s making it clear that he wants everything from me. But no matter how open he’s been in the last few hours, I’m not sure if I’m ready to leave myself completely defenseless. The idea is simply too scary.
“We’ve just reconnected after two years,” I say with care. “And the way we parted wasn’t…ideal. We need to give ourselves some room—some time—and take this relationship slowly. Rushing…well, rushing might doom it.”
“Don’t even think that,” Lucas says harshly. “It is not doomed. I am going to make this work.”
I don’t know if he can, but I know he’s determined to try. So I turn the conversation to something that’s been bothering me for a long, long time. “If I ask you to stop seeing Faye Belbin, will you?”
He pulls back in surprise. “Ava… She’s my friend.”
“But every time I see her, I feel like I wasn’t enough back then. I already told you all this on the flight.”
His jaw firms. “All right. I won’t see her. She and I have certain mutual business interests, but she can deal with my assistant if she needs to communicate with me. There will be no direct contact.”
“So this time, you and I will be one hundred percent exclusive, right? Not just sex. No more taking other people to functions and parties?”
“Right.”
That mollifies me. We finish our meal quietly. Mostly I’m thinking. This is a huge adjustment, going from expecting to take a job in Thailand to moving back home. I can’t believe it’s been only five days since we ran into each other again in Chiang Mai.
“Do you know where you might want to live in the States?” Lucas asks suddenly.
“I…haven’t thought that far. I mean, I guess I might go to Charlottesville for a little bit to see some people.” I want to say hello to Darcy and Ray and hold Mia in my arms.
Lucas nods. “We can do that. I still have the place in Charlottesville.”
“You do?”