“For you, maybe, because it was on your terms. It was about you fucking me whenever you wanted.”
He gives me a look. “Ava. If I’d fucked you whenever I wanted, you would’ve never left your apartment. Mainly because you wouldn’t have been able to walk.”
I flush, and an unwanted heat winds through me. God, he used to be insatiable. I often wondered how—and why—he habitually left before the night was over, because his eyes always seared me with undisguised lust every time he walked out.
“I’m older now,” I say, hating that my voice seems weak even to my own ears. “I need more than just a good lay to have a relationship with someone…and you can’t give the other part to me.”
He finishes the last bite of his steak and leans back, ignoring the veggies on his plate. “Okay, let’s hear it. What do you need?”
I laugh again. This man. “You think you can make it happen if you know what it is?”
“Of course.”
“Well you can’t. You aren’t capable.”
He steeples his hands. “If you’re upset about Faye, I already told you it’s over, and I don’t plan on touching her, ever. As for your issue with Blake, I’ll make sure you never see him again.”
A realization dawns on me. “You never wanted me to meet your family, did you?”
He eyes me a little warily. “No.”
My pulse accelerates, and my hands start trembling. I clench them, but that isn’t enough. I jump to my feet. “You ba
stard! If you wanted to make me feel cheap and dirty, congratulations. You’ve succeeded.” My vision blurs, and I realize I’m crying. I snatch my purse and run.
“Ava!”
I ignore his shout. The door closes behind me, cutting off a string of curses from him. Thankfully there’s an elevator waiting, and I rush inside and smack the buttons for CLOSE and LOBBY. When the elevator takes its sweet time, I jam my thumb against the CLOSE button repeatedly. Come on, come on!
The doors finally start to draw together. I hear uneven footsteps, and see Lucas’s stark face in the diminishing gap.
“Wait!”
I step backward. The doors shut just in time, and the car starts descending. I sag against the wall behind me.
Tears leave hot tracks down my cheeks, and I dry my face with a sleeve. What the hell is wrong with me? Why cry when I’ve always known what he thought of me, what I was to him?
I keep my head lowered, humiliated and embarrassed that I’m wasting emotional energy on a man who doesn’t deserve it. I climb into a taxi and give the driver my address. As the car pulls away, I see Lucas running across the lobby toward the front doors.
He bellows my name. Although I can’t hear it, I can read his lips.
Very deliberately, I turn away and close my eyes. But it can’t stop the tears from staining my cheeks or my heart from bleeding all over again.
Chapter Eleven
Lucas
Fuck!
What the hell just happened?
The taxi vanishes beyond the intersection, and I smack a fist into the opposite palm. The doorman looks at me warily. He’s probably debating whether he should call the police or the closest mental institution.
He asks something about a taxi, and I wave him off. I don’t have the time or energy to deal with the man.
I stare at the road where her cab vanished. My heart says to go after her now, but my head tells me to give her a little space to pull herself together. She isn’t going to listen to a word I say until she’s calmer.
My teeth dig into the inside of my cheek, drawing blood. Normally I would listen to my gut, but I can’t afford to at the moment. I’ve screwed up one too many times following what’s in my heart. The wisest course is to regroup and decide on my next move.