She tilted her head, trying to figure him out. There was something matter-of-fact about the way he moved and talked, like everything that had happened between them in November didn’t even exist. “Why are you being so nice to me?”
A beat of silence, then Justin answered, “Iain asked me.” He pushed a plate her way and handed her a pair of chopsticks. “Eat.”
She pushed the food around, then finally nibbled on a broccoli floret when Justin gave her a cool, steady stare. It tasted great, and she realized she was actually quite hungry. “He called?”
Justin nodded and started eating. There was something very methodical and driven about the way he ate. He didn’t shovel his food down like some men she knew, but he didn’t take his time either. It reminded her of somebody trying to eat an entire elephant without making himself sick—one bite at a time, chew, swallow, repeat at a steady speed until he was finished.
They ate in a silence that wasn’t too awkward. “You should’ve told him you were too busy,” she said after the final piece of duck.
He poured two glasses of claret and pushed one her way, and she let herself smile a bit while rolling the stem. This was so like him—keeping his promise without her having to prompt him. She breathed in the wine—the luscious black currant scent—and took a small sip, unable to wait.
“The real question is: why did you come to Chicago? You don’t have any friends here.”
The priceless vintage turned bitter in her mouth, and she forced herself to swallow. “Would you believe me if I told you the flight to Chicago happened to be the earliest one out of L.A.?”
He snorted, swirling the wine in his glass. “Are you really a successful attorney? Hard to imagine, when you lie so poorly.”
They’d dated on and off for over ten years. Somehow he seemed to know everything about her, while her family seemed clueless about what she was up to half the time.
Vanessa finished her wine. She didn’t know what made her keep coming back to him. They should’ve quit each other after she’d finished law school. She’d told him so. Even broken up with him. But then that wasn’t how it’d happened. They’d kept calling, kept seeing
each other, kept having sex.
And that wasn’t like her. She’d never once clung to a guy she’d decided to break up with, but with Justin she was unable to control herself.
“I came to Chicago because I had nobody else to turn to.” She drank more of the wine and laughed a sad laugh. “That didn’t sound as pathetic when I thought it in my head.”
Placing his empty glass on the table, Justin leaned forward. “It doesn’t sound pathetic. It actually sounds lonely.”
Vanessa bit her lower lip. This was what made him so difficult to ignore…and impossible to be with. He could see through all the smiles and outer shells and artifices. Nobody understood her the way he did, and he made her want things that would only bring her misery in the end.
She drained her glass. She no longer felt cold, but she kept his coat around her anyway.
“You’re so contradictory and unpredictable,” he said. “If I didn’t know you so well, I would’ve thought you were playing games.”
Her face heated. “I’m not…” She cringed as the argument from November flashed through her mind. “I’m sorry about all this.” She waved her hand vaguely. “I know you’re angry with me.”
“Angry isn’t quite the right word.”
She winced. Most assuredly not. More like furious…maybe even murderous. She doubted any other man would have come pick her up at the airport, even as a favor to one of his closest friends.
Tilting her chin up with an index finger, Justin lowered his head until their breaths mingled. “‘Angry’ is simple. One dimensional. What I’m feeling right now is a little more complicated than that.”
Her mouth dried, and her heart beat harder and faster against her ribcage. Justin smelled amazing, like pine forest and man, and his dark eyes seemed to suck her right into him.
She didn’t know why she wasn’t pulling back from him. If nothing else, pride and self-preservation should’ve made her get the hell out of Justin’s condo. Hadn’t she been glad when he’d broken things off? She’d told herself he was being unreasonable and melodramatic, and that she wasn’t going to go to him first.
But right now she wanted to be close to him. All through her adult life, Justin had been an anchor that never changed. If she clung to him, nothing would be able to sweep her away.
She closed the distance between them. His lips were firm under hers, unresponsive. She pulled him closer, both hands on the back of his head, and opened up, tracing her tongue over the flat line of his mouth.
The longer he remained passive, the more aggressive she became, channeling her pain into the desperate act of kissing him. She didn’t want him to remain angry with her. She wanted him to know how sorry she was for being unfair to him and how much she appreciated his support. Just being there for her was huge. Her parents’ divorce was really unsettling, and she couldn’t even say why. She felt like one of those helpless kids she represented pro bono.
She rested her palm over his heart and felt its movement, like a fish caught in a net. Forgive me, Justin. Forgive me…
Finally some of the tension went out of him, and his hands traveled up her sides as he began to kiss her back. Relief and exhilaration flooded her. She shed his coat, let it glide over her and pool by the couch.
He pulled her into his lap and dug a hand into her hair, ruining the way she’d set it. She deepened the kiss, adjusting herself so she was seated with her sex flush against his erection.