“I’m always serious about work.”
I shake my head. “I can’t just…continue, as if the last few weeks never happened.”
“You have a different job lined up?”
“No. I’m looking, though.”
“Might be hard to find one,” he observes. “You’re kind of notorious at the moment.”
My hands tighten into fists. I hate it when people point out what I’m trying very hard to deny. “Is that damned tape going to haunt me for the rest of my life?”
“Nah,” he says with a shrug. “People will forget about it when juicier news comes around. Ten years from now, and it’ll be like it never existed.”
Damn you, Shaun.
“But even without the sex tape, you won’t find a new job anytime soon.” He gestures at my belly. “You’re pregnant.”
I rub my forehead. It’s starting to hurt now.
Ryder continues, “You’re going to need income and medical insurance. Prenatal care isn’t cheap, and Dr. Silverman doesn’t even accept insurance. Her practice is strictly on a concierge basis.”
This is bad news. Really bad. Dr. Silverman is the best doctor I’ve ever had. She actually spends time with me and listens to my concerns and discusses everything in detail. And with the bleeding I had earlier, I would vastly prefer to have her providing me with the care my baby and I need.
“But if you come back to your old job, I can pay for all that,” Ryder continues. “She’ll be better for you and the baby anyway.”
The offer is tempting, but I’m not convinced he has no ulterior motive. He can be unexpectedly sweet, but I’ve also seen him at his devious best—or worst—when he’s fixated on getting his way. “Why are you doing this?”
He looks toward the ceiling and a slow smile spreads over his face. “I’m tired of dealing with my own mail?” He looks at me, squinting slightly, to see if I’m going to go for the ploy.
The gall of the man. “Try again.”
The smile vanishes, and silence stretches. Then he finally sighs. “Okay.” He leans forward, placing his linked hands on the table. “Look, Paige. We’ve wasted enough time being at odds with each other. Frankly, I don’t like that. We’ve never fought like this before, and I don’t understand why it’s happening now. I mean, all we’re trying to do is the right thing for each other. Right? A temporary marriage would solve both our problems, and it’d be so damn neat.” He clears his throat. “And I’m sorry for saying that it would be over if you walked out. Once I calmed down, it was obvious you needed some time to cool off.”
“So you think the problem is our tempers?” My teeth grind together. “That I’m just…pissy?”
“What else can it be?”
“Your idea of a relationship between us is, you issue an order and I obey regardless of how I feel about it. I didn’t realize it until we hit that bump.” I pause, taking a moment to collect myself. “You said we needed to put on a good show. But I’m not an actor like you, Ryder. I can’t fake things I don’t feel. I just…can’t.”
“So it’s a no?” His voice lacks all inflection.
“I…” I stop.
If it were just me, I’d say no. I don’t want to risk hurting myself anymore. It cut deep when he thought the worst of me based on his experience with Lauren, and it kept bleeding when he continued to act like I was betraying him by being civil to Anthony, who’s probably just as plugged in as everyone else and saw the news and decided to send flowers as an apology. There was no reason for me to reject that. I’d prefer that Ryder and Anthony reconcile rather than keep on with the hostility because of what happened with a woman who’s been dead and buried for a while now.
But I have a baby to consider. I can’t stay at Bethany’s place indefinitely. After all, she’s expecting too. And I can’t go home to Sweet Hope, not for a while. That town is full of busybodies who’ll sniff around shamelessly for every morsel of gossip.
And as much as I hate to admit it, I need the best care money can buy. That means Ryder is my best chance. But god…I hate it that I’m being forced into making a decision I’m not sure about due to circumstances beyond my control.
“If you don’t want to make up your mind right now, tell me tomorrow,” he says. “Or you can just simply move back in.”
“Move back in?”
“All your stuff is at my place, and you’re better off there anyway. Better sec
urity and privacy. If you want, you can take the guest house.”
Like that’s going to make any real difference. I exhale with frustration. “Do you really want to do this?”