“Don’t. They’re still your family, and it’ll only cause a scene. It’s a big party. Let them in. We can just avoid seeing them.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes.”
I bury my face in her neck. She smells amazing. “You’re tense.”
“It’s been a long day.”
Which is also my fault. I shouldn’t have forced her to deal with my family in front of hers like that, and I should’ve anticipated how things could go wrong. I want to pretend it was for her, but really it wasn’t. I shouldn’t have subjected her to the whole mess just to satisfy my curiosity. I wouldn’t have liked it if the situation had been reversed.
She puts her hands on my shoulders. “You’re tense, too.” She pauses for a moment, looking from one of my eyes to the other, then finally says, “Who’s Lauren?”
I go still. I was hoping to distract her with the talk of her family and maybe even sex. But Paige is too smart. And I can’t exactly avoid a direct question like this. “Someone I knew.”
“Well, yes, I kind of assumed that. What happened between the two of you that every time Julian mentions her you go all volcanic?”
Dragging a hand through my hair, I pull back. I can’t talk about the ugliness when I’m so close to her. The very act of voicing it seems like it would taint Paige.
She waits, her arms still on me, her expression open and curious. But if she hears what happened, she’ll recoil for sure. It’s a fucked up story, made worse by the fact that I let it ruin my friendship.
“Ryder…?”
“It’s an old story,” I say. “Nobody even remembers anymore, except Julian. He just likes to talk about it because it didn’t end well.”
Paige doesn’t buy that, not fully.
“Let me make you feel good, baby.” I press my body against hers, fitting myself against her soft, sweet curves.
Her hands clench around my shoulders, and I bury my face in her neck and inhale gently. She’s sensitive there, and shivers run through her. I run my mouth over the graceful line of her neck, licking and sucking. Her breathing grows shallow.
“I know what you’re doing,” she murmurs.
“Of course you do. But I’d
rather make you feel good than to talk about a bunch of nasty crap that happened years ago. It has no bearing on us.” I pause. “Don’t you trust me?”
She pushes at me until I pull away enough so that she can look me in the eyes. I gaze back at her, trying for total honesty. The stuff that happened between me and Lauren is old news, and it isn’t like she’s going to come back to cause us trouble.
Except Anthony’s back in town.
The thought flashes through my mind, and a small ball of apprehension settles in my stomach.
“You aren’t telling me everything,” Paige says.
Damn it.
Closing my eyes briefly, I debate how much to reveal. Maybe just enough to satisfy her curiosity…but not the whole sordid deal.
“Lauren was a model and an aspiring actress,” I began, keeping my voice emotionless. Facts only. “She and I dated seven years ago. I was on the rise back then, and she was young and dazzling. I didn’t realize it, but she approached me for help with her career…and she was also dating someone else at the time.”
Paige gasps and puts a hand over mine. I don’t react. I won’t accept her sympathy. I can’t.
“She was a drug addict, which I also didn’t realize in the beginning. I…didn’t know what signs to look for. Eventually, she died of an overdose,” I say, glossing over the exact circumstances surrounding her death. It was much worse than just snorting a little too much coke.
“I’m sorry.” Paige puts her arms around me in comfort, and it only makes me feel like a fraud.
I don’t want to think about Lauren or have Paige feel sorry for me because of what happened. I’d rather much have her feel something else.