“Why not? She’s not your typical Hollywood H&D, but who cares? Bosses always marry their secretaries when they’re stuck like you.”
“That’s so fucking cliché. Not even Hollywood makes movies with plots like that anymore. Actually it’s so bad, calling it a cliché is an insult to all the other clichés out there.”
“Sometimes a cliché is exactly what you need.” He leans forward, warming to his topic. This is going to be a long night. “And this isn’t some corny romantic comed
y setup. It’s a classic Hollywood Cinderella romance.”
“I’m no Prince Charming.” But as soon as I say it, I know I’ve made a mistake.
“Well, you were. What was the title?”
I sigh. “Charming Forever.” A Cinderella remake. It exceeded expectations at the box office. Mira was pissed she didn’t ask for more money. “And in case you don’t know how movies work, I was playing a role.”
“Dude. You don’t get it. Pretend you’re making a movie for a year with Paige as your costar.”
The idea is so stupid I actually don’t have anything to say.
“See? Pretty good, huh? Bet she’d be down with it, too. Everyone in Hollywood wants to act.”
“Not her.”
“She probably just never had the right offer. So make her one. Besides it’s got a nice side-benefit. You get to bang her.” Elliot lifts his eyebrows.
I snort derisively, even as my hormones perk up at the idea of naked Paige. She’s always been straight with me, and I know her passion in bed would be genuine, not the exaggerated stuff some girls pull to look like they’re into you. As much as I know it’s wrong, I imagine her nude and flushed with desire in my bed, glistening with sweat as she spreads her plump thighs wide. I take a quick swallow of my scotch to drown the groan lodged in my throat.
“What about the chick I banged at Mark’s wedding?” I say.
“A frog you kissed on the way to your Hollywood ending.”
I laugh and shake my head. “There’s no frog in Cinderella.”
“It’s called a subplot. And stop avoiding the issue. You want the painting, don’t you?”
“Of course I want it.” I want it like I want to keep breathing. “I want all of us to have them.” I give him a meaningful look.
“Don’t worry about Lucas. He’ll come around. All you have to do is ask Paige. No woman is going to reject you. I think the last time was Ms. Dubinski, right?”
I sigh again. She was my second grade teacher. I used to think the sun rose and set on her gorgeous dark head. I asked her to be my Valentine. She smiled, hugged me and told me to try again when I was older. Then she told my mother and the story got around.
Elliot taps his lower lip. “Come to think of it, maybe you should call Ms. Dubinski. See if she’s interested now that, you know….”
“Fuck you.”
He’s having trouble keeping a straight face. “At least she’s respectable.”
“Were you serious about marrying a stripper?”
“Yup. That’ll show Dad.”
I snort a laugh. “Sure will.” If Elliot really follows through, it’ll put a huge crimp in Dad’s efforts to keep up with the Pryces. Nobody from that family ever married a stripper.
“And the bride search will be hella fun.” Elliot grins.
“Your birthday’s coming up,” I say. “If you haven’t found a decent one by then, I’ll send you one in a cake with a ribbon around her neck.”
“Make sure she’s hot and either really dumb or really bright.”
“I’ll get you the dumbest one money can buy. You deserve the best for your birthday.”