Why couldn’t I have brought one of the romance novels Dominic got for me at the hospital?
Since I told him I’d wait, I start reading, feeling stubborn about it now. The book’s mind-numbing, the author going on and on about some technical ways to price fixed-income offerings. He has a lot of formulae—seven on three pages. I swear they’re at least calculus or worse from the way they make my head spin.
I steal a quick glance at Dominic. He’s totally focused on what’s on the screen. Mmm. Super sexy. Has he read this book? I look at the bottom corners of the cover where it went smooth and shiny from multiple handlings. Oh yes, he definitely has. Maybe that explains his occasional brooding. I’d brood, too, if I had to read this stuff to do my job.
I reread the same page three times before I give up and let my mind wander. The studio looks perfect. Maybe I should draw something tomorrow, although I’m not sure exactly what. I should also talk to Dominic about his weird mood. If he has an issue with me, he should let me know so we can fix it. Whatever it is, I’m sure it’s something we can deal with together. I’m sure of it.
Then what? the voice from earlier whispers. Is it going to be a happy ending forever?
My answer again is I don’t know. But I’m not looking for a Hollywood ending. I just…I just want some happiness and normalcy. Is that too much to ask for?
Chapter Fourteen
Dominic
The book finally slips from Elizabeth’s hand and falls on the floor with a soft thud. I was surprised when she chose that out of all the business tomes on the wall. I read it every time I have insomnia. By the time I reach the second chapter, I’m usually fast asleep.
I close Outlook and stare at her. She’s so naturally vivacious and sexy that it’s painful to be around her. During the movie, she kept squirming
against me. Whether she meant to or not, I felt every soft curve against me and had to adjust myself at least six times during the film. Thank God I had the wit to follow her reactions to the movie. Otherwise I would’ve sat there like a distracted robot the entire time. A real fun companion.
My dick’s still hard. I can’t help it. I see her, I want her, and I haven’t had sex in weeks.
Haha, sure, buddy. You haven’t had sex for months before, and you were okay just jerking off a few times.
True enough, but back then, Elizabeth wasn’t around. I didn’t smell her sweet vanilla and lavender scent, and the available women didn’t do much for me. Even when I fucked them, I felt vaguely gross afterward. Not good dirty, but bad dirty, like rolling in pig shit and then wondering what the fuck I was thinking.
Her neck bends in a sharp angle as her head droops on the arm of the couch. Steeling myself, I go over and pick her up like a slumbering fairytale princess, except this is no fairytale. The dragon between us is not something I can kill with a simple swing of a sword.
She turns toward me, her face resting on my chest. She feels so slight and delicate, and I’m suddenly overcome with need, longing and fear. I want to bury myself inside her sweet body and forget every ugly thing that ever happened between us. In fact, I want her in every way there is, but I’m afraid that ultimately…I’ll lose her.
I can be kind to her. I can give her the studio and let her see the precious portrait all she wants. But it won’t be enough to make up for the last ten years.
You didn’t know, my selfish side says, trying to justify what I’ve done so I don’t have to feel bad about it, so I can keep my head held high and act like I’m above criticism. It can’t possibly be your fault.
But it is my fault for being so unforgiving before. My fault for not considering the possibility that maybe—just maybe—she was an unwitting pawn in a bad situation and a victim just as much as me.
I still don’t understand why the notion that all that money and power couldn’t have given her everything never crossed my mind, not even once. Money and new connections haven’t given me everything I desire. They gave me a sense of accomplishment—that I built something and I’m able to provide my employees with a good living with what I’ve created. But it doesn’t make me burst with joy. It certainly hasn’t filled the void in my life.
I place her on the bed, then tuck her in. Her golden hair spills around on the pillows, and she reaches out, trying to hold on to me.
Very carefully I place a kiss on her forehead so I don’t wake her up, then pull away. Antoine’s right. My conscience is right. I can’t share the same bed with her, not under false pretenses. This is over the second she regains her memory, and I’m not adding to her hatred of me by giving into my lust.
Chapter Fifteen
Elizabeth
The sound of waves and the briny scent of the ocean tickle my senses. I burrow deeper into the soft sheets, not wanting to come out from the warm cocoon. It’s been so long since I slept well. I’m afraid if I get up, I may never get another good sleep like this.
“Wake up, sleeping beauty. It’s nine in the morning.”
Dominic’s voice is deep and husky, and I smile into the sheet, loving the soft way he speaks to me.
“I brought you coffee.”
Then I finally smell it. I open my eyes to see him waving a mug in front of my face.
He gives me a crooked grin. “I knew the coffee would do the trick.”