“No, thanks. Already had mine.”
I spread out on the love seat, and she takes an armchair, crossing her legs.
“Is your husband spoiling you the way you deserve?” He better be, or I’m going to kick his ass.
She smiles. “Terribly.”
“Good. And before we start, I want you to know Barron appreciates your help.”
Some women might preen or even have greed flash in their eyes at the mention of Barron’s gratitude. Although my great-uncle is retired, he’s still the head of the family and wields tremendous influence and power. But Elizabeth just smiles. “Tell him not to mention it. I believe in what he’s doing with the hospital.”
“He appreciates it anyway. And so do I.”
“You’re helping out too, by auctioning your prime, unmarried self off for the cause.”
I gesture carelessly, utterly relaxed. It’s the first time acid hasn’t flooded my belly at the mention of the auction. I know who’s going to win me, and it’s not Melons of Troy in a mink bikini. “This prime specimen will undoubtedly fetch a handsome price.”
She laughs. “We’ll see. Your proposed date is rather… I don’t even know what to call it. Crazy? Over the top?”
“You don’t think it works?”
“If you’re trying to develop a reputation for eccentricity. Or depravity.”
“That bad, huh?” I lean closer, thrilled with her reaction. “Tell me more.”
She spreads her hands. “What is there to say?”
“Would you bid on me if you were single?” Say no.
“You know I don’t bid at my auctions.”
“But if you were to break your rule…”
“No, I wouldn’t. Flying to Vegas on your private jet and having a drunken orgy? Not my idea of a good time. No offense.”
“None taken.” I sigh with happiness. “Think I should put how many people are going to be involved in the orgy?”
“You’re going to limit your options that way? What have you done to my friend, imposter?”
I laugh. “You’re right. Why limit myself? I’m going to get a huge-ass suite that can fit at least fifty. That’s probably more than Ryder ever had.”
Predictably, she scrunches her face at the mention of her actor brother, who set the standard for wild until he settled down. “Ugh. I didn’t need that image this early in the morning.”
“Sorry, babe.” The apology is so unrepentant that I might as well have not said anything.
“If you go unsold, I’m going to point and laugh,” she says.
Oh, I wish. But Georgette is coming. She’s a fucking nutjob, but she’s a very consistent nutjob. If she says she’s going to do something, she always follows through. I know she’s going to be at the auction, and she’s going to bid on me anyway, along with the other determined social climbers of our generation. “Wanna bet?”
“Bet?”
“I say I get sold for big money.” I have Evie. I already asked her not to embarrass me, and she’ll bid accordingly.
Elizabeth wrinkles her nose. “Weak. How about we bet you’re the most expensive bachelor of the night?”
“Fine.” I can pull that off. “If I command the highest price on the meat block, you owe me a favor. Within reason, of course.”
“And if you lose?”