The drive was spent in silence. As they went up to the penthouse the tension was about to kill her. She rubbed the back of her neck and would have given anything for a big glass of Merlot to ease the tightness. When the door closed behind them, she turned to Ethan and blurted, “Are you angry with me?”
“No.”
Could he be any more terse? “I have to tell you something.”
“Okay.”
“I’m Barron Sterling’s granddaughter. David Wilson was my father.”
He didn’t even blink. “Yeah, I know.”
“Because Jacob told you. But—”
“No. Gavin found out first and told me several days ago.”
So that was why Gavin had been so cold to her. “I see. Why didn’t you say something?”
“What could I have said?” he asked mildly, as though he was talking about tomorrow’s weather or what to wear to work.
“Didn’t you wonder about what Jacob accused me of?”
>
“Not really.”
She blinked, suddenly deflated. All the arguments she’d been prepared to deliver vanished at his flat answer.
He spread his hands. “Look Kerri, this isn’t an issue for me. I have no reason to suspect you of anything. Whatever problems TLD has are due to Jacob, and probably the Board of Directors, but not you.”
The burning sensation in her stomach eased. “Thank you for trusting me. I just… I didn’t know what to do at your mother’s, especially when Meredith asked me to be her advisor.”
Ethan finally looked like he was starting to relax. “Yeah, I’m sure it really put you on the spot. But look, I don’t want you to feel like you have to tiptoe around me or my family. If they don’t like you because of who you’re related to, it’s their problem, not yours.” He plopped down on the couch, and she joined him. He toyed with her hair. “Natalie told me you never said a word about your family to her.”
“Never. Um…did you tell her?”
“No. I didn’t know at the time.”
She snuggled into his warm, strong frame. “It’s not that I really want to hide anything from her. It wasn’t relevant. My family and I are completely estranged.” Except that Barron wants to see me all of a sudden.
“Some people might still have used the connection to further their career. You worked in finance.”
She shrugged. “Not much point when I couldn’t have brought in a single account using the family ties. It was easier to pretend I was just some ambitious young thing. Which, actually, I was.”
His fingers wrapped around the wavy end of her hair and tickled her bare shoulders. “Still… Seems like kind of a waste.”
She smiled. “If I’d let everyone know who my family was, you might not have hired me.”
At first she’d thought the job was a terrible idea, but accepted because she thought the position and the affair were temporary. Now she was glad she’d taken his offer. It was helping her overcome her fear and loneliness. She appreciated Ethan making her stronger and more sure of herself. Not in a professional capacity—she’d always known she was good—but in more personal and intimate relationships, where she used to wonder if she could measure up to some impossible standard she’d unconsciously set for herself to fit in and belong.
They hadn’t been together that long—only a few months—but whenever she thought of him her mind seemed clearer, her heart warmer and her insides more relaxed…albeit still hot with need. She didn’t know how long the sexual desire would last—maybe forever—but more importantly, sometimes she could see herself still feeling the way she did with Ethan twenty years down the road.
Was this love?
She’d always thought she’d know when she was in the throes of feverish passion. But now, sitting on the couch with their clothes on and their bodies flush against each other, she couldn’t help but think that this was the real thing, the kind of intimacy that wouldn’t vanish once the heated moment had passed. That they would endure all the endless trials of life, whether the two of them were sick or poor or old.
She wished she could tell if Ethan felt the same love, but a teeny voice of doubt in her mind said probably not. He was used to affection, unconditional acceptance and knowledge of where he fit in the world. He probably wasn’t overwhelmed by their relationship the way she was, and it was pretty clear that women falling in love with him was nothing unusual.
Well, it didn’t matter. So long as she had this moment with him.