“Ever seen one? They aren’t that pretty. I read that Japanese people don’t even eat them. Can you imagine being a fish and being rejected by the Japanese? They eat blowfish. Sea urchins.”
“Well, yeah. But you’re American.”
She giggles again. “Want me to demonstrate how I feel about you, Mr. Unhappy Pants?”
“Yes, I think that would be a good, mollifying start.”
“Well, then.” She puts both her hands on my cheeks and looks deeply into my eyes. “I’ll do my best so you don’t feel even a smidgeon of jealousy after I’m done.” She lowers her lips until they touch mine. And spends the rest of the night proving her case.
Chapter Forty-Five
Pascal
The next two weeks go by peacefully. Actually, that isn’t quite right. They go by perfectly. Happily. I love every moment of my job, and adore every moment I spend with Court at home.
Home.
I always thought I wouldn’t feel comfortable calling a boyfriend’s place “home.” After all, it’s his, not mine, even if we’re sharing the space. Even in college, I never felt like the shared rooms at the dorm were mine. Maybe that’s the real reason I always insisted on keeping my apartment. But with Court, it feels like home. Every time I walk in, I feel warm and happy. I can let my hair down, relax and just be myself with the man I love.
Perfection.
But at the same time, I wonder if we’re on the same page. I can see us heading to the serious territory—the kind that comes with long-term commitment and maybe even a wedding, if we both decide that’s what we want. But he’s never even hinted he wants to take our relationship to the next level. As a matter of fact, he seems very content with things the way they are. I tap my fingers on my desk and stare at the wall, while my laptop crunches numbers for my projections on the KOSPI.
It isn’t that I doubt he likes me. I know he does. But I want more than that. I want him to want to move in the same direction, toward the same goals, I do.
Stop being impatient and greedy, Pascal. One step at a time. You can’t force an emotion on him.
Pressuring him would be the best way to repel him. Maybe I’m feeling anxious, because sometimes I could swear we’re on the same wavelength when it comes to how we feel about each other.
He values your opinion and thoughts. Shouldn’t that be enough for now?
It should be. I mean, he talks about what he’s thinking about doing with his life, asks me what I think about some of the charity projects he finds interesting, and we even had a rousing debate about crude oil pricing in the commodities market, one that proved we could disagree without getting nasty about it.
No other man I dated ever took my input into consideration at the level he does. He wouldn’t do that if he didn’t feel something deep for me, right?
“Hey, Pascal, ready?” Pete says from the open door.
Startled, I check the time on the laptop. Twelve already?
It’s taken almost three weeks since I started for OWM to hold my welcome lunch. Gavin’s a busy man, and his boy wasn’t feeling well, then his wife got sick, so he couldn’t find any free time. Whatever spare moments he had, he spent at home. His family-man attitude makes him seem more human and likable, changing my perception of him from a cold-hearted, ultra-sharp fund manager to more of a genuine human being.
And it also makes me a tad sad, because it reminds me of how my dad used to be. He took off early from work when I broke my ankle once, just to cheer me up. It’s hard to pinpoint when things changed. Or maybe he’s always had the medieval outlook toward women, and I just didn’t notice because I never wanted to. After all, nobody wants to acknowledge something like that about a person they love.
I gather my purse and leave with Pete and Gavin. Gavin’s in an exceptionally good mood. “Heard from Pete you’re doing well,” he says. “Damn, I’m good.”
“You are?” I say.
“Hey, I hired you, didn’t I?”
“Yes, you did.” I have to laugh at Gavin’s ego. Everyone at his level has it, but somehow his isn’t overly obnoxious. It’s the general good humor that comes through.
“Pete was skeptical.”
Pete gives Gavin a “seriously?” look. “You have to tell her now? Besides, I’m always skeptical when somebody puts a new person on my team without any warning.”
“Why?” Doesn’t Pete trust Gavin’s judgment?