“I didn’t just hear a rumor, man.” I make a V with my fingers and point at my face. “Saw it, right in front of me. With my own two eyes.”
“Yeah, I believe you that you saw what you saw.” Killian nods a few times. “But she’s Max’s baby sister, and he’s as straight a shooter as you can get. I just can’t imagine her being that different from Max…you know, in terms of character. There could be an explanation.”
It dawns on me that Killian is worried about being caught between two of his best buddies—me and Max, who’ll undoubtedly side with his sister. It’s the kind of conflict and tension that can rip a group apart, and none of us wants the band to fracture.
“Like what?” Even though I’m ninety-nine percent convinced I’m right, I’m praying Killian gives me that one percent possibility. I’m that desperate for a reason to make things between me and Becca go back to the way they were, even though part of me says I’m kidding myself. The happiness I had with her was based on a false premise: that she wasn’t Ashley.
“Okay, um…” He considers for a moment. “BPS? If you can’t satisfy her that way, it’s a big deal in a relationship…”
Argh! I should’ve known better than to think he would have anything useful to say!
He continues, “Or maybe she—”
“What’s BPS?” Emily calls out from the living room.
“I thought you were working on your book!” God, she needs to stop eavesdropping after acting like she’s giving us privacy to talk.
“I’m multitasking. I don’t need ears to type, you know!”
The woman’s so damn nosy. I turn to Killian. “I don’t have it anymore.”
“Is BPS a kind of tumor?” Emily sticks her head around the corner. “Ballistic prostate sarcoma or something? Because that would explain a lot about how you’ve been acting…”
“No, it is not a tumor!”
At the same time, Killian says, “It’s a man condition, honey. Let it go.”
“Ohhh… Okay. Well. That makes sense.”
“No, it does not! I don’t have a problem anymore. My dick works fine with Becca!” The words pour out in frustration, annoyance and disbelief. “If I were still suffering from that, I’d be consulting a doctor, not you two!” Besides, even if I were experiencing it with Becca, she should still talk to me first before making love to the back of some guy’s neck.
Emily comes over, eyes gleaming like she’s a dog that just found a piece of bacon on the kitchen floor. “But you did have it before.”
I sigh. “After I slept with Becca, yes, but only around other women, and only for, like, a few weeks.” She isn’t going to go away until I explain the situation. Fucking Killian.
Her mouth and eyes go totally circular and she inhales sharply. “Magic vagina!” she says breathlessly.
“What?” Apparently, Drover isn’t the only Alice in Wonderland place around.
“Look, when a man meets the right woman, things go great. But when he meets his soul mate, he experiences a magic vagina, and he’s totally pwned.”
“He’s what?”
“Here.” She pulls out her phone and types something, then flips the screen so I can read it.
PWN.
“That’s you,” she says with a nod. “Total ownage.”
How much coffee did she have? “Ownage is not a word. I thought you were a writer.”
“It totally is a word. Look it up on Urban Dictionary.”
I’m not debating this. Urban Dictionary is not a legit dictionary, and I’m not going to dignify anything out of her mouth on this point. Besides, total ownage? That only happens if I want to be owned! Or pwned! “Look, she can’t be my soul mate because she cheated on me. Soul mates don’t cheat on their…their…other soul mates.”
“Are you sure she cheated on you?” Emily asks. “Maybe you have a long-lost twin…?”
“Please. I’m one of a kind. Nobody else looks like me. And believe me, that asshole she was wrapped around did not measure up!” I hit the table with my fist, angry all over again. “You want to talk about ownage? Well, I trust what I can see with my own eyes.” I wonder if Becca and that guy went back to what they were doing before I walked in on them. “It’s getting to be the only thing I trust in this world.”