She gives me a startled look, then shakes her head. “I just want him gone,” she says tautly.
“Oh.” My shoulders sag a bit. “Well, you heard the lady.” I finger-wave. “Buh-bye.”
Hank looks from one to the other of us, trying to think of something to say. Finally, he turns and leaves.
“Huh. I’ve never seen him back off without trying to mansplain his way out of his ‘mistake,’” Tasha says.
“Mansplaining’s harder to do with another guy,” I say. “Becca, you should’ve tossed the salsa in his face. I would totally have cheered for you. Even written a song and dedicated it to the moment. I have a title ready. ‘Salsa la Vista, Baby.’”
Becca laughs. Tasha stares at me for a second, then starts laughing too.
“I was really tempted, which is why I wanted him gone. I don’t want Grandma hearing about me behaving badly. And she would hear,” Becca says.
“Geez. This town’s like living under a microscope.” What’s life if you can’t even throw salsa in a cheating ex-boyfriend’s face without repercussions? If I did it and a video made its way to social media, it’d probably get ten thousand likes within an hour. “Or is it just because of Sylvie?”
Becca shakes her head. “Somebody would tell. Or it’d be posted in the Facebook group. Grandma already thinks I’m unfriendly and rude. I don’t want to give her another reason to withhold the house.”
I want to tell her she doesn’t have to worry about that because Marie’s in the process of buying it, but I keep my mouth shut. I want it to be a surprise.
Tasha’s face scrunches. “We should throw pies in your no-good ex-boyfriends’ faces the day you get that place. Less than a year to go.”
Eleven months and two days, to be exact. “I’ll buy them for you,” I say, kissing Becca’s temple. “Hey, you want to know something interesting?”
“What?” Becca says.
“When an egg is fertilized, the first thing to develop in the fetus is the rectum.”
Both of the women stare at me.
“No, it’s really true. Everyone in medicine knows this. What’s less well known, though, is that some guys just never get beyond that stage. They remain assholes all their lives.”
Tasha’s stare slowly changes into a considering look. “You know what? Maybe you aren’t so bad. I’ll give you, mmm, thirty seconds to explain yourself when you set foot in my yard.”
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Becca
I ask Tasha what she means, but she won’t say. Devlin just shrugs.
There can only be one reason they aren’t willing to talk. Tasha got a bit sensitive and made some threats while I was in the bathroom. She can be overly protective, and she might be thinking that Devlin’s doing something he shouldn’t behind my back or something. She’s really suspicious and slightly paranoid at times, no matter how many times I tell her it’s okay. But every asshole in my past is more proof that she’s right.
Nobody bothers us for the rest of the dinner. Sylvie is an excellent waitress, and we tip her accordingly. As irritating as she can be, I can’t deny her what she’s earned. And I have to respect the work she does because I could never wait tables. I’d make the worst waitress ever, since I’d be slow to pick up nonverbal cues. I might even give food to the wrong people, if they switch seats or something.
When we’re back home, Devlin goes up to shower and I check my emails. I frown a little when I spot an email from Bruce—finally.
From: [email protected]
Subject: About that PayPal dispute
Hello Becca,
I’m disappointed that you went straight to PP instead of trying to work it out with me. I didn’t mean to take your money and run. You know in my line of work, reputation is important, and I always guarantee satisfaction.
Oh, so he guarantees satisfaction. I would never have known that from the way he just didn’t show up!
I couldn’t go to Vegas because my cat died suddenly, which was emotionally devastating. It isn’t the first time I’ve lost a pet, but no matter how many times you experience it, it’s always fresh and painful.