–Tasha: Okay, so I went over the list you sent, but are you sure you want to hire an escort for this? You can fake-marry one of your guy friends for a year.
–Me: Who? That’s the problem. Grandma knows everyone in Drover. Plus all the surrounding towns. And I don’t have a guy friend I’m close enough to for something like this.
–Tasha: Argh. Why can’t Drover be a bigger place? Like Dallas or something.
–Me: It isn’t, so we have to deal with the reality. Besides, using money is great. It’ll keep the relationship very professional and simple. Just a business contract.
–Tasha: Do your fans know you’re a cynic?
–Me: No. Now stop stalling and tell me. Who do you like the best out of the bunch?
–Tasha: Jacob and Bruce. They look the best. Want me to contact them and feel them out?
–Me: No, it’s fine. Bruce should do better than Jacob.
–Tasha: How do you know?
–Me: A woman’s intuition. Besides, Bruce is Batman’s name.
–Tasha: This guy is no Bruce Wayne. This is a hooker Bruce. Bruce Swain.
–Me: Shut it. I just have a good feeling about the name, and I’m following my instincts, like you’ve told me to do many times.
* * *
From: [email protected]
Subject: About the job
Hi Bruce,
Hope you had a chance to review the contract I sent and you’re okay with it. I forgot to put this in there, but can you show up in a black Batman shirt and black pants for our wedding in Vegas? That’ll help me find you in the crowd. Thanks!
Becca
* * *
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: About the job
Hey Becca,
The contract looks good. I sent you a signed copy. You sure about the black Batman shirt and black pants? It’s for a wedding, after all.
Your man,
Bruce
Your pleasure is mine
* * *
From: [email protected]