“But this happens after the men get laid,” Dad says. “Nobody gives away his liver for free.”
I really don’t need to discuss the sex habits of mythical creatures from another culture with my parents. “I don’t think Geneva wants my liver.” More like money and being the center of somebody’s universe to satisfy her narcissistic, sociopathic ego.
“Your heart!” Dad says, and I hear a loud clap. “Bet she rips out hearts, too.”
“Eats,” Mom corrects him. “Supposedly werefoxes eat the organs out of living victims. Now listen. You need to get a date prettier than Geneva, somebody who can outshine her. I really want her to look terrible at her own wedding, especially in front of Vi. Why, it would make my summer. I’m certain it would make Vi happy, too.”
Mom can be super nice, but when she decides she hates you… “You said that Vi staying with you over the break was going to make your summer.”
“Well, of course. I’m looking forward to spoiling her rotten, which that darling child deserves, but I can always use another thing to make my summer even more satisfying.”
“What woman could outshine a werefox witch, though?” Dad asks.
“I don’t know.” Mom sounds entirely too serious, like they’re debating where to invest their retirement savings. “Did we finish watching that show…?”
“This is really fascinating, but I gotta get to work.” If I don’t end it now, they’ll continue forever on this asinine topic. A werefox that eats livers indeed. “Love you both.”
“Have a great day!” Mom and Dad say together.
I can almost hear them wave and smile. I hang up and go to work.
When I step out of the elevator at the office, David finds me. He looks fresh and pleased with the world. And why the hell not? He doesn’t have a kid who lies to her sitter and imposes herself on a next-door neighbor who thinks he’s a herpes carrier.
“So how’d it go with Bethany?” he asks with an arch look, a mug of steaming coffee in his hand.
“Terrible.” There’s no other way to describe the date. I start heading toward the break room because I could use some coffee myself.
David walks with me, confusion etched in every line of his face. “Why?”
I pinch the bridge of my nose as the terrible memory from last night resurfaces. I grab a mug that says All My Darlings over a bunch of baby photos, then fill it with coffee, dump two sugars in and stir.
“She said she’d even put out when she talked with me,” David says, annoyed.
A little song goes through my head. Glinty, glinty, little claws… I shudder. “Seriously, man? And you still thought Bethany was a good idea?”
“Of course! Shouldn’t you be happy you have a buddy like me? I thought you could use a little rebound action,” he says, lowering his voice. “Best thing for getting over an ex. Trust me.”
He would know. After he broke up with his girlfriend, he fucked half the eligible female population—discreetly, of course. His mom would murder him otherwise. She’s big on propriety and family values.
“I have a kid. I need to set a good example.”
David looks at me, scandalized. “Don’t tell me you share everything with your kid. She doesn’t have to know. Besides, Bethany’s hot. Perfect if you want to rub somebody pretty in Geneva’s face. She can even do makeup to make herself look ten years younger. I’ve seen it.”
“Yeah, if I want to flaunt an underage-looking gold digger who glints,” I mutter.
David squints. “What?”
“Nothing. I need to prep for a meeting.” It’s a lie. I don’t have a meeting until one thirty.
Melanie waves when she sees me. “Oh, good, you already got yourself some coffee. I was wondering if I should grab you a cup, but then I thought maybe it’d get cold before you got in.”
“You’re in early,” I say, more surprised she’s early than the fact that she considered bringing me coffee. She’s never here before me. Usually she isn’t even on time.
“Oh, my husband’s car broke down yesterday, so we’re carpooling today. He had to drop me off this morning b
efore heading to work.”
“I see.” I give Melanie a couple things to do, step into my office and come to a complete halt.