Amy grows thoughtful. “Let’s see if there’s anything else in the box.”
She sticks her hand and moves the peanuts around.
“Ah-ha!” She pulls out a card, then reads out loud.
Dear Mr. And Mrs. Lasker,
I’m sorry I can’t personalize this more. I asked Griffin, but he wouldn’t tell me anything. Anyway, congratulations on your marriage! I hope these toys help bring additional joy to your life. If you want more, just go to our website and use the promo code GRIFFIN15 to get an additional 15% off on our entire catalogue!
Sierra
P.S. The code has no expiration date!
This has something to do with Griffin? My strait-laced, overly particular brother?
“Who’s Sierra?” Amy asks. “Griffin’s TA?”
“Doubt it. He’s too uptight. Why don’t I call him?”
“Great idea.”
I call him, putting it on speaker. He picks up.
“Yeah?” he says, sounding slightly harried.
“Hey, we got a box from you,” I say.
There’s a pause. “I didn’t send you anything.”
“It came through Sierra,” Amy explains.
A beat of deafening silence. “Are you fucking kidding me?”
“No,” Amy says, giving me an is-he-okay look.
As I shrug, Griffin says, “That should never have gone to you!”
“We don’t mind,” I say, hoping Amy’s interested in trying them out. If she isn’t too eager… Well. Maybe I can figure out an angle to convince her. I excel in making my cases.
“They’re in beta testing!” Griffin says.
Whaaaat? “How do you beta-test a dildo?” I ask.
“I don’t know. I didn’t ask. I don’t want to know. She’s crazy!”
“Who?” Amy asks.
“Sierra! The woman never follows a schedule. She never plans for anything. She respects nothing! She thinks life is fun and game! Wears really annoying perfume—”
“What’s annoying about her perfume?” I ask. Griffin isn’t allergic to any scent.
“It’s distracting!”
Amy gives me a look, and we share an ESP moment. I don’t think he hates her as much as he claims.
“She laughs too much,” Griff says. “Smiles all the time, for no reason. And she’s so fucking pink!”
“What’s wrong with pink?” Amy asks. It is weird for anybody to hate pink this much.