“Hey, Mellie, why aren’t you giving our new guest something to drink?” a brunette says, coming over with a whole bottle of champagne. “This isn’t some cheap shit. Ted doesn’t do cheap. It’s Dom.” She raises the bottle she’s holding. “You’ll love it.”
“I’m good,” I say.
“What’s your preference?” the brunette says, her free hand on her hip. “I can’t imagine anybody who doesn’t like Dom, but hey, first time for everything, am I right?”
“Nothing. I’m waiting for my water.” Where is Emmett?
Mellie and the brunette gasp in unison. “Nobody drinks water at a Ted Lasker’s party! You might as well insult the man.”
“I’m not—”
“Honey, if you want to be a star, you have to act like one,” Mellie says. “Stars don’t drink water when they can down some Dom.”
The brunette nods.
“Unless you’re pregnant,” comes a high voice from down around my waist.
I look down and see a boy who can’t be more than five or six. He’s in Finding Nemo swim trunks, his platinum hair slicked back. Black sunglasses cover his eyes, and he’s smiling like he’s done something clever.
Shock tugs at me from two different directions. First, that he correctly guessed why I’m not drinking. And second, that there’s a child at a party with a penis gallery. Did he hit one of the balls, too?
I look in the direction of the entrance. You can see those giant dicks—and the genitalia balloons—clearly from everywhere.
“Are you lost?” I say to the kid.
“No. I’m here with my mom.”
What kind of mother brings a child to… But maybe she didn’t know. “Where is she?”
“Good question.”
“Maybe you should call somebody?” I suggest.
“Why?”
“Because… You know. This isn’t really the kind of place a child should be.”
Mellie and the brunette titter. “You are hi-lar-ious. Are you trying to break out as a comic?”
“No.” Just how drunk are they?
Emmett finally reappears from the pool house nearby. “Amy, here’s your water. Took forever to find it in the fridges.” He hands me a cold bottle of Evian.
“Hi, Emmett,” the boy says.
“Hey, George.” Emmett puts an arm around me.
Maybe he’s going to take George to some wholesome area where other kids are hanging around. But Emmett doesn’t do anything. Actually, he’s acting like it isn’t particularly shocking to see George at a party like this.
“Hi, Emmett,” the girls say, waving.
“Ladies.” Emmett inclines his head with a smile.
“So. Is she your girlfriend?” Mellie asks.
“Yes. Amy, meet Mellie and Sunshine.”
I give a little wave. “Hi.”