“I don’t know about their lives, and what’s more, I don’t want to know. I don’t care. To me, they are nothing more than insignificant things in this world. Nothing more to it and nothing less. But I suppose you’re right. They do seem free.” His eyes roamed over my face. I wondered what he saw when he looked at me. “You won’t ever be free.”
I blinked. Out of all the things I expected him to say, that wasn’t it.
But then, Damien was never really one to mince his words.
I let out a small sigh. “I know.”
It didn’t really come as a surprise. I already knew this.
He shook his head a little, his thumb moving over the edge of his coffee cup. “I can see that disappoints you. That’s not what you want to hear.” He shrugged. “I was never really one with the sweet words and the pretty lies. If you want charm, then you go to Nikolay. As for me, I can promise you this. No matter how bad it gets, I won’t ever lie to you.”
I nodded, looking back down at the initials.
“This is how your future is going to be. You’re not free. And you’re never going to be. What I can offer is a pretty cage. A world at your feet. Three monsters who would do anything for you. The best clothes money can buy. Sparkling diamonds that will cover you from head to toes. Choices—”
I looked up at him.
“—within your cage. I’ll burn down this world for you. I’ll rip the hearts out of men who fucking dare make you cry, and I will take on the worst of monsters. For you. But you will never be free from me. Even if you beg me to let you go, I’m not capable of it. So get used to being mine, Catalina. Being ours. The only way you can ever leave me is if I die.”
I took in a huge gulp of air. I didn’t realize I had been holding my breath until my chest started to hurt. Our waiter returned with our food and quickly retreated, not asking us if we needed anything else.
I didn’t blame him.
I placed the napkin over my lap and took the fork, digging in. The only noise from our table was the sound of forks clanging against the ceramic plates as we both ate our food quietly.
I could feel Damien’s eyes on me the whole time.
I was about halfway done when I put the fork down and took another sip of my orange juice.
My eyes connected with Damien as I drank. A flavor of sweetness and tanginess coated my tongue.
“Okay,” I said, setting the cup down on the table, covering the couple’s initials.
“Okay?”
I nodded. “Okay.”
He stayed silent for a beat, before he offered me a small smile and said softly, “Okay.”
We went back to eating after that.
I’d always known I wasn’t free. Always knew that as many choices as I was given living with these men, they were choices within a pretty cage.
I knew it.
Perhaps I was a little messed up, but him telling me he wasn’t letting me go didn’t feel suffocating. Didn’t make me feel out of control.
I felt safe and secure.
I felt like, perhaps, just perhaps, they might love me as much as I loved them.
And that was all there was to it.