That took some of the wind out of her sails. “Maybe.” She didn’t sound sure at all. She was confused, had been from day one. She wanted to stay, but there was a part of her telling her she should be fighting back. I understood it, though I wanted her to just give herself over completely. Even after she’d agreed to be with us, I knew it wouldn’t be that easy. There was still a lot we all had to learn about each other. Every time we hit a bump, she was going to be tossed right back into these feelings of doubt.
I didn’t envy her having to deal with that. Or us for having to weather her anger, but we’d figure out how to navigate it all. Just because it wouldn’t be easy didn’t mean it wasn’t right. From the first time I’d seen her—running away from the downed helicopter—I’d known she was ours.
If Rafe hadn’t ordered us to go get her, I would’ve talked him into it myself.
Colby sighed and laid down, her back facing me. “Go away, Arsen.”
I stroked my hand over her dark hair, enjoying the way her silky tresses felt against my skin. I’d leave her alone because instead of sounding pissed off she sounded resigned. Her tone bordered on defeat. I didn’t want that. I didn’t want her giving up and losing her spark. It was the first time I felt real fear in our relationship. We just needed her to understand and accept that life with us was going to be exactly like this. If she could accept it, without her spirit being defeated, we could all move on. If not, I wasn’t sure where that left us, since none of us would be able to let her go. It wasn’t fair, but this was all riding on her adapting.
She didn’t look at me as I ducked out of the tent, giving her the space she asked for. It was going to be another night of anger and silence, but at least she’d started to soften.
I strode away from the tent and saddled up Bilal. He watched me patiently, while I worked.
“Where are you going?”
I glanced over toward Rafe. He’d followed me over from the fire and was leaning against a rock. His arms were folded over his chest and there was irritation stamped on his features, but in his eyes was concern. I knew it wasn’t for me.
“The tent and our supplies are still down in the foothills. I’m going to get them before some random person takes them.”
Rafe nodded. “Good idea. I checked in on them before I headed to Tikrit and they hadn’t been disturbed. I didn’t notice any signs that they were being watched by Roj’s men. Still, it’s a possibility. Want me to go with you?”
“Thanks, but I need a break…from everyone.” It was rare that I needed alone time, but all the tension that’d been building up all day was grating on my nerves. A part of me wanted to shake Colby until she came to her senses. But that wasn’t fair of me. She didn’t know any of us very well yet, and we’d taken all sense of power away from her. She had to be feeling vulnerable. Vulnerable, and unable to depend on us yet, at least from her perspective. That was a state of being we weren’t used to dealing with, in ourselves or others. There was a reason we hadn’t kept any women around long term. Our lifestyle was very different than most women were used to. Hell, than most men were used to.
“Understood,” Rafe said, shoving off the rock. “Be careful,” he called out over his shoulder as he walked back toward camp.
That was one thing about Rafe, he needed alone time often and never begrudged it to us when we did as well.
Climbing on Bilal’s back, I flicked his reins so he’d stand and start down the path. It was open enough here to ride, but there would be plenty of spots I'd have to walk in front.
I used the way down to think back over the last few days. My dick hardened as I remembered fucking Colby. She’d been so open and willing. A far cry from her mood now. I’d been just as pissed at Rafe the time he’d sat on me and dug a piece of shrapnel out of my leg. More because he was wasting time when the enemy was bearing down on us, but I could sort of see why Colby was upset. Granted the situations were wildly different, but it wasn’t comforting to have that guy coming at you with anything sharp.
It was worse that we had watched it happen. She knew by now that Rafe was a barely contained madman. The reason she had let her guard down to begin with was because of myself and Sig. We had run interference on Rafe, and given her a place to confide and trust. She must feel betrayed by us for siding with Rafe. Guilt hit me hard knowing I’d played a part in that. We would regain her trust, in time.
Slipping off Bilal as I reached the bottom of the path that led out into the foothills, I hobbled him so he’d stay where he was versus following me. If there were any of Roj’s men around, I didn’t want him getting mixed up in the fight. At this point, I loved that camel more than I knew how to express. Just thinking about leaving him when the time came made my heart sink.
I shook off the melancholy thoughts and crept around the outside perimeter of our temporary camp that we’d left behind. All of the footprints nearby looked old. There were animal tracks over it and the wind had wiped some almost completely out. Rafe had been right, no one had been here since the group of insurgents had chased us up into the mountains.
Spending the night down at the camp gave me the solitude I’d been searching for. The itch that pestered me all night let me know how deep my feelings had developed already for Colby. Despite needing a break, I didn’t like staying away from her.
The next morning, it didn’t take me long to pack everything up, the sun was slowly climbing high in the sky by the time Bilal and I made it back to camp. The first thing I saw was Colby’s worried face.
As soon as I came around the bend, her expression lit up into relief. Almost as quickly, it darkened and she went back to the little corner she’d secluded herself in. I could see the battle raging within her. Her heart versus her brain.
I’d laugh if it wasn’t so damn depressing having her angry with us. The others came over and helped unload all the items I’d salvaged.
Grabbing the book Rafe had given her, I walked over and handed it to her. She snatched it out of my hand as fast as a cobra striking, then gave me a guilty look.
“Thank you.”
I nodded and headed over to the fire. Rafe glowered at me. “Did you seriously just get points for giving her a book I’d already gifted to her?”
Giving him a large, toothy smile, I shrugged. “Not my fault I’m charming as fuck.”
“That doesn’t make you charming, asshole. It makes you a-”
A sound echoed through the little crevice we were tucked up in. It’d sounded like a branch breaking, but it wasn’t typical of the noises up here. Rafe broke off and we were all on our feet in an instant, eyes and ears alert.
Our movement caught Colby’s attention, though I wasn’t sure she knew why we’d suddenly gotten so tense. “Colby,” I called to her in a tone just above a whisper. “Come here.”