CHAPTER19
Colby
The day dragged past, evening soon approaching, and Rafe and I had called a truce of sorts. It was unspoken, but there. Things were tense enough without our bickering back and forth. We were all tired and sore from the constant traveling. Rafe still wouldn’t tell me where we were going, but the mountains had appeared on the horizon and we were heading directly for them. It didn’t take a genius to figure out he was heading for a spot that he could defend against enemies much more easily than the open desert. It was also clear that I was a liability. They were seeking a defensive position to protect me, versus going head on for the enemy following us.
Rafe had set a grueling pace to get us away from those who followed us. It meant that all we had time to do was travel and none of them touched me except to help me up and off the camels. I was grateful for it. My feelings were confusing enough without adding more sex to the equation. Focusing on not getting killed seemed the more prudent action here.
As awful as it was to admit to myself, I wasn’t sure I could withstand my body’s needs and tell them no if they were to make a move. Which meant I needed to get out of here before we got to wherever we were going. That wasn’t going to be easy. The men seemed to know the areas we were traveling quite well, but I was hopelessly lost. Those mountains were my only guide. I knew that meant we were heading toward the east, and Iran, but that was about it.
My ass and inner thighs were chafed and sore from the saddles, but I didn’t utter a single complaint. If these were friends of the men from the market, I may have brought them to our doorstep. I was the reason we were racing across the desert as fast as the camels could carry us, fleeing from danger. The guilt of that notion had been plaguing me since we’d left in the early hours of the morning. Despite that, I was grateful to be with my men and not at the others’ mercy.
My men.The thought was jarring, but it was how I’d started thinking of them. I leaned back against Arsen, taking comfort in his arms around me as he held me on the saddle in front of him. The battle between my heart and mind was reaching epic proportions and I was going to have to make a decision sooner rather than later. With danger around every corner and me being completely dependent on them for everything my feelings had grown at an accelerated rate.
* * *
It wasthe morning of the second day and I wanted to cry at the thought of riding on the camels for more hours than I cared to count. I took the package of dried meat that Rafe handed me as he and the other two went around breaking down our tent. There were no fires, since we didn’t know if we were still being followed. All we’d been eating for the last day was the dried out strips Rafe had made from the deer they’d killed. It was better than nothing. At night we huddled together in one tent for warmth.
A book appeared in front of my face, making me jump. I hadn’t heard Rafe come up from behind me. He jiggled it and I took it from him. I considered my options. Stay quiet, or ask the questions plaguing me.
“Where did you get it?” My curiosity had always been a leading factor in my life.
“The market.”
“Thank you.” It was Shakespeare. I’d never been a fan of the classics, but at this point I’d attempt to read cave drawings done by long forgotten ancestors if I was given the opportunity.
“How did you get it out here? And written in English at that?”
Rafe grunted in response and sat down in the sand beside me. I guess that counted as an answer. To him at least. He unrolled a large piece of paper and my interest was piqued. That was a map. I was sure of it.
A map would be invaluable to me when I went to leave. Especially considering the miles we’d packed on in the last day and how many we would go today. I wasn’t sure when I could go or where we’d be when the opportunity arose. They were still watching me like a hawk watches a field mouse, but I would have my chance eventually. If I could study the map, figure out where we were, I would be able to figure out how to get back to friendlies.
I turned my attention to my book. It wouldn’t help my cause to be caught staring at his map like it was a donut. My mouth watered at the thought of the sugary pastry. I wondered briefly, if I asked would he be able to find one? Probably. Nothing seemed to be out of his reach.
Rafe didn’t hustle us directly onto our camels to continue the trip. Not wanting to ruin the break, I read quietly while the others joined us. They spoke together while the sun rose above us.
“Time to go, Gorgeous,” Sig said with a smile. He held out his hand to me and helped me to my feet. Taking my book away, he passed it back over to Rafe, who stowed it in a bag.
I followed Sig over to Dasha and scrambled onto her saddle with his help. They took turns having me ride in front of them. I was sure it was to rest the camels, but it also meant I spent the days pressed up against each of them for an equal amount of time. I hadn’t had any space since we’d left our base camp. Despite the danger and physical exertion, my heart fluttered happily in my chest, so much so, that I was worried about what it meant. I knew I was only fighting myself at this point. My reservations were more about the fact that they’d taken my choices away from me, not that I didn’t want to be with them.
How was I supposed to keep them at arm’s length? Especially when they were doing sweet things for me. Like giving me a book to read while I was waiting for them to make a plan. Sure, I’d rather be planning with them, but I couldn’t blame them for not trusting me when my mind was still set on escaping. Rather, I shouldn’t blame them. Part of me was angered that they would be so sexual and tender and yet not trust me. But here I was, planning to escape.
They wanted me. Wanted to keep me, that much I knew. If I were to give in we could all be happy, together. It wasn’t possible to be more confused than I was right now. My head kept telling me to run. My heart had begun to whisper things that I couldn’t examine too closely.
The day passed slowly, my thoughts dark and heavy. The guys seemed to realize I was in a mood and did their best to cheer me up. Arsen was hellbent on making me smile. It was impossible for me to resist his antics. He began telling me stories from his childhood.
Laughing at him, I shook my head. “So you dunked him in the lake?”
“Only I get to pick on my younger sisters,” he rumbled from behind me. “Others found out quickly that they’d face my wrath if they tried.”
“But he was your best friend,” I pointed out.
“And still was for many years,” he agreed. “Now he’s married to that very sister and they have four children.”
My heart melted at the story. “Oh, that’s so sweet.”
He snorted and shifted Bilal’s reins into his other hand. “He’s lucky I consented to their marriage at all.”
“Why?”