Chapter Twenty-Six
Emery
My hand flies to my neck as my body shoots upright off the bed.
Rasping breaths escape my raw throat, along with a pained cry with every other one. I can still feelhishand wrapped tight around my neck, his thick fingers digging into my skin so hard I’m not sure how they don’t break through the skin.
Shadow whines and the bed dips when he jumps up. He’s always been there for me when I wake up in a blind panic with a cold sweat clinging to my skin. But for the last week or so, on particularly bad nights, he’s started jumping on the bed rather than standing by my side. Barely able to make out his outline through my tear-blurred vision in the dark room, I reach out blindly. My hand lands on his back when he curls up next to me, resting his head on my lap, and I clasp his fur between my fingers.
I’ve been here for nearly two weeks, and I still haven’t heard anything about when I’ll be leaving. Sebastian had mentioned being close to finding Ian, but that was the only time I’d been told anything.
I don’t know how long I lay there, Shadow at my side before I hear the door open. Soft steps enter the room, pausing by the side of the bed.
“Good morning,” I say, my voice quiet and hoarse.
I’ve been lying awake so long I can make out nearly all of Sebastian’s features in the dark room.
“Good morning,” he says slowly, squinting towards the bed.
It’s early enough that it’s dark out, and whilst I wake most mornings when Sebastian comes to get Shadow for his run, I’ve never let him know I was awake.
Until today.
Shadow already has his chest puffed and his ears up—my fingers still clenched in his fur.
I force myself to let go, knowing he likely needs to go out and not wanting to keep him from his run.
“You’re awake early,” Sebastian says.
“Couldn’t sleep.”
“Mmm… did you want to come?”
“I might try and get some more sleep,” I say, knowing full well I won’t, but I’m completely exhausted.
Sebastian nods. “I’ll be back soon. Come on, Shadow.”
Jumping up and off the bed, Shadow follows Sebastian.
“Do you have to go to work today?” I ask in a rush before he can leave.
Sebastian glances back to me. “Yes,” he says. “Is something wrong?”
I didn’t really expect him to turn around and say he’ll stay home, just like that, even if it is a Saturday. But I can’t deny a small sliver of me was holding out hope. “Nothing’s wrong,” I say, but the shake in my voice betrays my words.
Sebastian walks back into the room, not stopping until he reaches my side. “What is it?” he asks, concern lacing his voice. He sits on the edge of the bed, and his hand comes to rest on my face in a move I’m becoming more addicted to each time he does it. I hadn’t even realised I was crying until his thumb swipes across my cheek, collecting the liquid.
Sniffing, I try to collect myself. As much as I want to lean fully into him and hold his palm in place so he can’t go anywhere, I don’t allow myself to. I’m not sure I’d keep it together if I did. “I’m just tired,” I say.
Sebastian sighs at my answer and drops his hand from my face. “I’ll be back before dinner,” he says, standing and heading for the door once more.
Sebastian takes one last look before leaving the room, shutting the door behind him.
The rest of the morning, I spend tossing and turning before at least managing to pull myself out of bed.
“Grace.”
My eyes snap open, and I’m met with Sebastian’s face as he stands over the couch. As I sit up, the blanket slides off, pooling in my lap. Is it the afternoon already? The last thing I remember is watching some kind of comedy on the television, and I definitely didn’t have a blanket.