“What do you want?” the man asks in a deep voice, his eyes still lingering on Mama’s body.
“J-Jimmy sent me,” she says.
The man bites his lip before saying, “You got the cash?”
Mama’s entire body trembles, making my hand shake with hers, and she fidgets with the bottom of her top with her other hand. “Jimmy and I had an arrangement,” she says in a wobbly voice.
“I don’t give a shit what you had. No cash, no deal.”
“Please… I can’t. I… I need it.” Mama rubs at her arms where I’ve seen the sore spots. She says they’re from her medicine, so she doesn’t get too sick, but I don’t like that it hurts her. “I’ll do anything,” she says when he doesn’t answer straight away.
The man licks his lips, and his eyes darken at Mama’s response. I tug on her hand, trying to pull us away from this place. Mama looks down at me but doesn’t step away. The man’s eyes copy her and land on me, filling with disgust as if he only just noticed I was here too. I glare back at him and hope he will leave us alone.
“No kids,” he says roughly.
Mama looks at the man and back to me with a worried look in her eyes. “He won’t be a problem, I swear.”
“No. Kids.”
Mama chews on her lip. “What am I supposed to do with him?” Her voice sounds sad, and I try to tug her arm again.
The man looks around the small platform and to the dusty short street behind us. “He’ll be fine here,” the man says, his face harsh but with a glimmer of something unknown in his eyes.
My heart starts beating faster, a rapid pitter-patter in my chest as she lets go of my hand and crouches down so we are the same height. She grasps my face between her hands, and I can’t help but feel like something bad is happening. Her skin is pale and sweaty, and her eyes have dark circles underneath them.
She looks really sick.
My breath comes too fast, and my chin wobbles.
Does the man have Mama’s medicine? Is that why we are here?
“Can you be a good boy for Mama?”
I want to be good, but even though I try to be brave, I feel tears sting my eyes, trying to escape. “I want to go home,” I whisper, feeling some of them slip free.
“Oh baby, please don’t cry.” Her eyes fill with water as she wipes her thumbs under my own and pats my hair. She pulls me to her chest, and my fists grasp onto her, not willing to let go, but too soon, she pulls away, holding my face in front of hers again. “I promise I’ll be back before you know it.” She taps my nose with her finger.
“Hurry up or leave,” the man growls, and I jump at the harsh tone.
“Can you be a good boy?” Mama asks, and I nod, not wanting to let her down. “Promise me you’ll stay right here and wait for me, Sebastian. Don’t go anywhere else. I won’t be long.”
I try to find words, but none come, so I nod again.
Mama kisses the top of my head and stands up.
As soon as she’s up, the man grabs her arm roughly and pulls her to him. “Enough of this,” he says and starts to pull her into the building. Mama doesn’t fight him, even though his hand squeezes her arm enough to go red.
I don’t want Mama to go with him. I go to step towards them, maybe she’ll change her mind, but his glare freezes my bones.
Mama turns back before they disappear through the doorway and pauses. “What if he gets cold?”
The man’s face twists in anger at the delay, and he looks at my thin t-shirt and old jeans. “You won’t be gone long enough for him to feel it,” he spits.
She swallows hard, and there’s sadness in her eyes. Just when a tiny spark of hope lights up in me that she’ll let us go home, the man tugs on her arm, slamming the door behind them, then she’s gone.
My whole body shivers at the cold air wrapping itself around me like an ice blanket. I don’t know how long I’ve been waiting for Mama to come back. My legs hurt from standing and the cold. I really need to wee. Mama says I’m old enough to be using the grown-up toilet, but I can’t always make it even though I try.
The sun Is starting to disappear, and cars go up and down the road past this small street, but I can’t leave. I promised Mama.