Sebastian slowly moves his gaze to what’s in front of him, but I hesitate to follow his orders.
“Tell me what you’re going to do, Grace,” he says.
I know what I’m going to see if I look down, and despite what he says, I don’t think I’ll be able to see them in the same way he does. “Watch you,” I say on a shaky exhale.
When he first touches me, I jump at the contact. Using his thumbs, Sebastian spreads me apart, baring everything to him, and I let out another shaky breath as the cool air hits my opening.
“So fucking beautiful,” he says, and I struggle with what to do, but I told him I’d watch. With hesitance, I look down, except what I see has a lump forming in my throat.
Sebastian isn’t looking at what he’s exposed and spread open. He’s staring at my stomach.My scars.Whilst it’s not the only place I have scars, it’s where I have the most. His thumb moves through my centre, following an agonisingly slow path, top to bottom, all the while his eyes roam over my body. There’s no disgust on his face, only desire and something I could only describe as akin to awe. I want to see what he sees.
Swallowing hard, I move my gaze from Sebastian and down my body until I’m staring at the part I hate most about myself. With varying sizes and causes, they take up more space than unmarked skin, and the lump in my throat grows. Their colours range from almost white to an angry red. Whilst some are straight and flat. Others are jagged. Raised.Horrible.
How could he think they are anything close to beautiful? But when I flick my gaze back to him, his expression still hasn’t changed.
“Every inch of you is gorgeous,” he says, and I gasp when his thumb brushes against that little bundle of nerves, circling it. “Every mark.” He leans forward and presses his lips to one of my scars. “Every imperfection,” he says, pressing his lips to another one. “They might represent everything you’ve been through, but when I look at them… I see your strength. Your fight.” He continues circling my bud, and my chest rises and falls faster with each passing second. “I see your kindness and your pain.” He presses another kiss to a scar. “Your scars don’t make you strong or weak. They only enhance the qualities you possess inside.”
I watch with bated breath at which one he’ll choose next, my core throbbing as he touches me, but I’m not prepared for his mouth to press against the edge of my most extensive scar. Starting just under my belly button, it stretches up to the dip in my waist. The skin is red, being one of the more recent ones, but Sebastian follows the jagged path, dragging his lips along the raised flesh.
The pleasure builds in my core, and my throat burns with emotion as I watch him. By the time he reaches the end, I feel tears clinging to my lower lashes. Except none of what I’m feeling has anything to do with sadness.
“They’re beautiful becauseyou are,” he says, looking into my eyes for the first time since he started this, and I feel one of the tears drop onto my cheek as he presses a finger inside me. My head falls back on a breathy moan.
“Watch, Grace.”
I drop my head back down at Sebastian’s command, and only when he’s satisfied does he lean in, swiping his tongue through my centre. Then, he moves his finger inside me and shifts his other hand to my stomach. A low whine escapes me at the loss of stimulation, but it turns into a moan when he seals his mouth over where his thumb had just been. My arms shake, barely holding me up, so I lean back against the mirror behind me, but it’s not so far that I can’t see what he’s doing.
Sebastian sucks and licks me whilst tracing my scars with his free hand, and as the pressure inside me builds to near breaking point, my heart fills. My walls clench around his finger in anticipation, and when he adds a second, I start to move my hips against his face almost involuntarily.
“Sebastian.” I whimper, so close. A moan rumbles from his throat, and the vibration against my sensitive bud combined with every other little thing he’s doing is enough to send me over the edge. I shatter into what feels like a million pieces. My mouth drops open, and a few more tears fall, but I fight the urge to close my eyes, watching as Sebastian laps up my release, which causes another rush of wetness.
When it becomes too much, I let out a low whine, wanting to close my legs, and after a few more seconds, Sebastian pulls away. After letting my leg fall from his shoulder, Sebastian stands and sheds his briefs before stepping back between my legs and sealing his mouth to mine.
His hard length leaves a trail of wetness along my stomach, and I wrap my legs around him, pulling him even closer. Sebastian groans and breaks the kiss, breathing heavily.
“God, I can’t get enough of you,” he says, wiping the remnants of tears from my cheeks with his thumbs. “You have no idea how fucking scared I was tonight when you disappeared,” he murmurs against my lips, and my mouth opens and closes—shocked at his confession.
“Why?” I ask.
“You’ve been in my head since day one, Grace. I didn’t know how to handle it at first, but I’m sick of fighting it.”
My heart swells at his words, but it starts to fracture almost simultaneously. I hate keeping things from him, and as much as I don’t want to leave him, last night was proof enough that I can’t stay with him. I just don’t know how much time I have left.
Needing a distraction from my spiralling thoughts, I rock against him, squeezing my legs. Sebastian lets out a hiss as his length slides between our bodies, leaving another trail of wetness.
“Hold on,” he says, and I grab onto his shoulders so as not to irritate his neck.
Sebastian lifts me from the vanity, his arms flexing as he takes my weight and walks us to the shower. My breasts press against his chest as he opens the door and goes straight for the taps. It only takes a moment for the water to heat up, and Sebastian takes us directly under the spray.
Hot water hits my back, and I move my hands from his shoulders to the back of his head, sinking my fingers into his dark hair.
“Don’t ever run from me again,” Sebastian says with a heated stare before slamming his mouth to mine in a bruising kiss.
Our tongues lash against each other as my back hits the shower wall, though with how large the ceiling showerhead is, hot water still splashes against us. Sebastian rocks into me, and I moan into his mouth before he reaches between us. Then, taking his rock-hard length in hand, he positions himself at my entrance. “Promise me.”
“Our deal—”
“I’ll honour it,” he says, even though his voice and the look he gives me says he wants to do anything but. “If I have to let you go, I at least need to know you’re safe. And if it comes to that, I’ll make sure you are, but if you run… I can’t feel what I did last night again.” His eyes flick between mine, waiting for an answer.