Kardal continued to sit in the chair. He forced his features to remain calm, but both activities took all his strength of will. He wanted to spring to his feet and rage against the man sitting across from him. He wanted to shout his frustration and demand Givon explain his arrogance in coming here after all this time. He wanted to yell that his father was nothing to him—less than dust and no words were going to change how he felt.
Anger, frustration and deep, ugly hurt filled him. Emotions he’d never acknowledged before bubbled to the surface. He could barely breathe from the intensity of it. Sabrina had warned him, he thought suddenly. She had said he must prepare himself for what would happen when he finally met his father. That if he didn’t consider the impact the meeting might have, he could be overwhelmed.
She was more wise than he had been willing to admit.
“I know you are angry,” Givon said.
“Anger is the least of it.” Kardal spoke between clenched teeth.
“Yes. That must be very true. I wish…” He sighed. “I want to explain. Are you willing to listen?”
Kardal wanted to shout that he was not. But he refused to storm out of the room like an angry adolescent. Instead he offered his father a curt nod and wished fiercely that Sabrina was with him. He could use her gentling presence.
“Thank you.” Givon leaned back in his chair. “I am sure you know the story of how I came to be here. When your grandfather produced no male heirs, tradition dictated that either King Hassan or I provide Cala with a son. The tradition also stated that the king of Bahania and the king of El Bahar would alternate. The last time there had been no heir had been over a hundred years before. It was my turn, so I left my wife and sons and came here.”
“I am familiar with the history of the city,” Kardal said impatiently.
“Perhaps, but this isn’t just about history. This is about the people involved. We are not talking about cold facts. I was married, Kardal. I had two sons. I cared for them very much. None of them wanted me to come here. I did not want to come here. The thought of seducing an eighteen-year-old girl was repugnant to me.” He paused and stared directly at Kardal. “I was the same age you are now. How would you feel about taking one of the elder’s daughters?”
Kardal shifted uncomfortably. He understood his father’s point at once, but didn’t want to admit that. “Go on,” he said instead.
“Whatever you may think of me,” Givon continued, “know that I was never unfaithful to my wife. She was pregnant with my third son. We were happy together. But duty called. I came to the City of Thieves and met Cala.”
As he spoke her name, Givon’s entire face changed. A softness filled his eyes and the corners of his mouth turned up. Kardal frowned, refusing to allow the old man’s emotions to sway him.
“She was not what I expected,” Givon said simply. “She was beautiful, but it was more than that. She might only have been eighteen, but she and I got along from the first. I found myself mesmerized by her, feeling things for her I had never felt for anyone before. I had arrived with the intention of doing my duty and leaving. But after meeting her, I could not imagine simply taking her into my bed without some kind of understanding between us. We spent time together and began to enchant each other.”
He leaned forward and picked up his glass. “I was a king, a powerful man, completely enthralled by a slip of a girl. I felt like an idiot and more happy than I had ever been in my life. I loved her and in loving her realized I had never truly loved my wife. Not the same way. So Cala and I decided that I would stay.”
Kardal stiffened in his seat. “You were going to stay here?”
Givon took a sip of water, then nodded. “I did not want to leave her. What other choice did I have?”
“But you didn’t stay.”
“No.” He set his glass on the table. “A month slipped into two. I knew I would have to give up my monarchy, my sons, everything. I was prepared to do so until my wife arrived. In my absence, my third son had been born. She placed the infant in my arms and asked if I was planning to abandon them all. In the baby’s eyes I saw my future and knew it could not be here. I had been playing a game but it was time to return to my responsibilities. The people of El Bahar mattered more than the state of my heart.”
Kardal didn’t want to think about how difficult the leaving would have been. He knew his mother well enough to know that she would not have handled the disappointment with quiet dignity.
“Cala told you never to come back,” he said, believing the words for the first time in his life.