Twenty-Six
“Where the fuck have you been?”
Lee looked like he might be sick at the mere sight of me, a ghost from the past standing before him on the doorstep, my clothes torn, face muddied, bruised and caked with blood. He brought a hand to his mouth and stared at me in disbelief as the colour drained from his face and I wondered whether I had the right to smile at him or if doing so might earn me another bruise to my jaw.
As I slipped the ring onto my finger and my lips brushed against Gwyn’s, I’d been overwhelmed by an immediate feeling of sickness. My head buzzed and the sky grew dark and everything around me spun into chaos. I don’t know if I’d closed my eyes or just become enveloped in darkness, but I had an instant feeling that I was falling, only without the sensation of ever hitting the ground.
Immediately my every sense came to life. I could hear the patter of every raindrop, smell the dust kicked up beneath me and feel the air as it danced along every inch of my skin. I remembered Gwyn, his handsome face watching me as I fell through the ether, his voice calling out my name, following me across decades as I slipped through the darkness and fell into nothingness.
And then, quiet.
I awoke some time later, though I wasn’t sure just how long, soaking wet and lying on my back. For a moment as I lay in the rain I wondered if perhaps I had only fainted and hadn’t actually moved but a cursory glance at my surroundings reassured me that I was indeed somewhere different. I didn’t know where I was, or even when I was, but I knew that I'd at least moved.
I sat upright, wiping the drizzle from my face, and took another look around. I wasn’t back at my office, that was for sure. It was another field, surrounded on all sides by a hedgerow that didn’t allow me to see beyond. When the power came back to my legs I stood and made my way towards a small gate on the far side, hoping I’d find some civilization or sign of where I was.
As I neared it, a man climbed over the gate and began to walk towards me. Instinctively I clenched my fists, ready to fight.
“Are you alright?” he asked. He edged forward cautiously, noting the state of my clothes. My shirt and trousers, filthy and torn, were hanging from my body in shreds, flapping in the wind as I made my way towards him. He held his arms out, as one might do with an animal they were unsure of, and took another step forward. “Is everything ok, lad?”
I relaxed my fists a little. “Where am I?”
“Maybe we should get you to a doctor?” he said, pointing up at my face. I raised a hand to my cheek and brought my fingers into view. A wound had reopened beneath my eye and blood ran from it into my stubble.
“Where am I? I said again, this time firmer.
“Grantchester,” he replied. He took a handkerchief from his pocket and leaned forward, keeping some distance between us as he waved it at me.
“Grantchester?” I repeated, and began to laugh. “That’s close enough.” I knew the area well. Five, maybe six miles from home. I looked around the field again and then back at the man. “What year is it?”
“You what?”
“The year. What year is it?”
“Look, I think yo-”
I rushed towards him and grabbed him by the arms and gave him a little shake. He looked startled, but not frightened, and I pleaded with him again.
“Please. Tell me what year it is.”
“It’s 1999, lad.”
His eyes were flicking left to right as if trying to work out my thoughts, and I burst into laughter and threw my hands around him in a hug, letting out a loud yell of excitement as I clung to him.
“I need a lift,” I said, stepping back from him. “Can you take me into town? I’ve lost my wallet and I need to get home.”
He studied me for a moment, probably wondering if he was about to get murdered by some lunatic in his car, but he nodded anyway and led me to his vehicle to take me home.
“I said, where the hell have you been?”
I’d become frozen as I stared at my brother. He was the person I felt safest going to but the metre of space that separated us on that doorstep suddenly felt like a gulf and I lost all ability to speak or move. “And what the hell are you wearing?”
I looked down at myself, and then back up at him. I could have asked him the same question. I hadn’t immediately realised it but he was wearing a shirt and tie, ironed, and his hair was neatly combed. Even his shoes were polished. His face had filled out a bit too and he looked healthier than I’d seen him in years.
“Can I come in?” I finally said, breaking my silence.
He stepped aside, his back against the door, and I had to squeeze past him to get inside. I walked down the hallway and into the open plan kitchen and living area. It seemed so big now, and clean. No old magazines lying around the floor or empty food cartons, no dishes piled in the sink or overflowing bin bags. Everything was in order.
He followed me into the room and stood at arm's length, studying me as though he couldn’t quite believe I was real. He sighed, then shook his head, then sighed again and brought his hands up to his face, dragging his cheeks downward as he contemplated my presence. On the counter behind me an alarm sounded, breaking through the silence and causing me to jolt and retreat backwards against the unit.