“Don’t,” I said, turning my head from him. I was glad of the affection but I was also worried that I might have something that could infect him.
He got to his knees beside the bed, keeping my hand clutched in his. As he got closer to me the redness in his eyes became obvious. He’d been crying. “Please don’t be like that, Tom,” he said.
“No, it’s not that,” I said, trying to reassure him. “I mean, you shouldn’t be doing that, but I also don’t want you to catch anything.”
“But Nellie said it’s just a fever,” he argued.
“But it might not be. I learned enough at school to know how rife these times are with diseases. I don’t want to risk it. Go, wash your hands.” I pointed to the bowl of warm water with a flannel in it that had been left beside the bed, and he reached for the soap on the nightstand.
“Don’t go,” he said as he dragged the cloth through his fingers.
“I’m not going to die, Gwyn!”
He stopped what he was doing and looked at me again. I’d never seen him look so worried. “No. I mean don’t leave. I couldn’t bear it if you did.”
“Gwyn, I-”
“No, let me finish,” he interrupted. “When I saw you falling to the floor I knew instantly I’d have done anything to make sure you were ok. Every minute that you were out I prayed for you to be safe and well. I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you.”
He reached out to take my hand but I moved it away. “You can’t touch me, Gwyn. Not until we know what’s wrong and that you can’t catch anything.”
I felt like I was becoming paranoid but if I had an infection that he could catch then he needed to keep his distance. His touch was all I wanted but it wasn’t worth the risk.
“I don’t need you to decide now,” he continued, stepping back away from me. “We can talk about it when you’re well. I just wanted you to know that I’m sorry.”
The bedroom door swung open before I could reply and Mrs Hopkin scuttled backwards through it carrying a tray filled with soup and two fresh jugs of water.
“Nellie says you’re to drink until you can drink no more. There’s a pot under the bed if you need it.” She laid the tray over my lap and turned for the door. “I’ll let you know when the doctor arrives.”
I looked at the soup and felt immediately queasy. I had no appetite for anything, only a desire to get warm and stop shivering. I pushed it away and Gwyn moved it over to the dresser.
“It’s so cold,” I said, pulling the blankets from my waist up to my neck and curling my body up to gather some warmth.
“You’ve got a fever,” he said, pulling the blankets back off me and leaving me lying there in just my long johns.
“Who undressed me?” I asked, curious about how I came to be out of my clothes. “And who brought me inside? And why am I in this bed?”
Gwyn smiled and sat himself down in the armchair, helping himself to spoonfuls of my soup.
“I tried to lift you but it hurt my ribs so I called for Teddy and Mr Hopkin. They brought you in and Leah said to put you in this bed so you’d be more comfortable.”
“And my clothes?”
“You were filthy and sweating. Betty helped me strip you down. I thought her head was going to explode. She got so red seeing you in your underwear. You need to mend those buttons.”
I clenched my eyes closed, embarrassed by his teasing. “She’ll never be able to look at me again, poor girl. Has anyone told Mair?”
“No, I haven’t been home since you collapsed.”
“She probably thinks you’re in the pub,” I said without thinking, causing him to frown. I didn’t want him to think that Mair had betrayed his confidence. “I mean, I’ve just seen you coming in and out of there a lot lately.”
“Yeah, well, it turns out I couldn’t drink away my thoughts of you.”
I tried to smile at his comment but all I could muster was a cough. My throat had been sore since I woke up and coughing felt like I was dragging splinters up from my chest. He handed me a glass of water and I drank it down, the chill of it making me shiver more. I longed to get under the blankets for some warmth, despite the sweat that was leaking from every pore of my body.
With a knock at the door, Nellie popped her head into the room to see how I was doing. She gave Gwyn a stern look for eating my soup and then turned her attention to me.
“How are you feeling?” she asked, putting the back of her hand against my forehead.