“And they agreed at the last minute?” Beah asked.
He couldn’t blame her for sounding skeptical; it was primo wedding season, and few people in the wedding industry had time for last-minute demands. But being a Murphy had its occasional perks, and immediate attention was one of them.
Finn shrugged. “I’m a Murphy and our name grabs attention. No doubt my wedding planning inquiries have the rumors flying about my impending marriage. When I rock up with you, the rumor mill will go into hyperdrive, so do not be surprised if you see a headline tomorrow suggesting we are getting remarried. Would that be a problem for you?”
He was fishing because he was still curious about her call, but Beah, dammit, was too smart to take the bait.
“Are we going to tell the vendors that it’s Piper and Ben getting married, not us?”
“If it comes up. I’m not in the habit of explaining myself and I really don’t care what people say or write about me.”
He’d learned that lesson from Carrick after his ex-wife Tamlyn fed malicious stories to the press about Carrick’s alleged verbal abuse and his numerous affairs. None of it had been true, but the truth didn’t matter when it came to selling stories.
As a result, Carrick never explained or issued comments.
“But,” Finn said, thinking out loud, “it’s a helluva sensitive time for the company right now and we cannot afford any bad publicity. Maybe we should just tell people we are organizing this for our friends. We’ll keep it simple, saying they are in Hong Kong and we’re doing the legwork for them.”
“Are you really worried about adverse press attention?”
He felt Beah’s eyes on his face and turned his head to send her a quick look. He frowned, feeling a swirl of apprehension in his stomach. “You know we are, Bee. The sale is huge and we can’t afford anything to take the attention off it.”
Beah nodded and looked out her window. Finn wished he could see her eyes, wished he knew what was going on behind those copper-colored depths. Because he sure as hell thought something was.
Beah played with the funky antique silver bracelet on her left wrist and he wondered if it was the same one he’d given to her their first Christmas together. It looked like it, but he couldn’t be sure.
“I’m sorry for assuming you hadn’t made any arrangements,” Beah said. “I’m a bit of a control freak and it’s really important to me that Piper has her fairy-tale wedding.”
Because she didn’t have one? Before Finn could ask that question, Beah started to speak. “There wasn’t much my mom wanted when she was dying, except to be with me. But she did want one last holiday by the sea, so I packed her and her morphine drip into my car and we headed for Devon. She couldn’t do much more than sit in her wheelchair on the pier but I saw the peace on her face. I still remember her lifting her face to the sun and smiling.” Beah’s voice cracked and Finn swallowed down an unexpected rush of emotion.
“It’s important to me that Piper gets her version of a seaside holiday and if this wedding is what she wants, then that’s what I’m going to give her. We’ve become pretty close in the past couple of weeks, maybe because I’ve experienced watching someone with cancer and I know how devastating it can be.” Beah lifted her slim shoulders before allowing them to sag.
Finn thought she’d exchanged a few emails, maybe spoken to Piper on the phone once or twice. He’d never expected her to become emotionally involved with Piper, especially with Beah’s history of nursing her own mom through her death. He admired her courage for giving this to Piper, and for nursing her mom, especially since he still felt uncomfortable talking about her mom and her battle with cancer.
“I’m sorry.”
Out of the corner of his eye, Finn saw her tense, saw the same expression on her face that he’d seen last night. But he needed to say this again, make her understand.
“I should’ve listened to you when you wanted to talk about your mom. I shouldn’t have changed the subject or distracted you. That was wrong of me.”
Beah half turned to face him, pushing her glasses onto the top of her head. “Why did you push me away? I’ve never understood.”
He couldn’t tell her she made him feel too much, that getting emotionally close to her, as close as two people should be when they were married, scared him.
“I’m not a great talker, Bee.” Finn glanced out the window and felt the pressure in his head, in his chest. “That being said, I should’ve tried harder. To understand. To, at the very least, let you talk.”
“You were supposed to be my best friend, Finn.” Beah’s quiet words ripped his heart in two.
“I know, and I failed you.” Finn reached across the expanse between them to place his hand on hers, squeezing her fingers gently. “I really am sorry.”
He didn’t know if it helped but the words were out there. He’d managed to say what he needed to. Beah didn’t speak but she did, eventually, turn her palm upwards and link her fingers in his. “I appreciate you saying that, Finn. But our marriage was a long time ago and I’m over it.”
He heard the determination in her voice. His head understood their time had passed but damn, his heart wasn’t completely on board.
And his libido had never forgotten her. She was still the best he’d ever had.
“If we could get past wanting to rip each other’s clothes off, we could be friends,” Beah mused.
Finn lifted his hand to return it to the wheel. Why couldn’t they be friends and have sex? For as long as she was around? It sounded like a win-win solution to him.