“My Little girl? Of course, you’re mine. I have not searched for you for years, only to allow you to get scared and run away,” he told her.
“I didn’t run away. I was just… bitchy.”
“Language. If I hear you call yourself a name again…”
She interrupted him, “You’ll do what? Spank me again?” Sobs poured from her throat.
“If that’s what you need to forgive yourself,” Pedro reassured her gently. “Your first reaction was perfectly understandable. I would have bristled exactly like you did, Belinda.”
“Bristled? That’s a kind word for accusing you of trying to sabotage my new job after we just talked about it last night,” she sobbed.
“The world is changing but technology has been a male-dominated field. I’m sure you’ve had a few roadblocks in your career.”
When she nodded, he continued, “I would never expect you to lower all your boundaries immediately. I think we made huge steps last night. Then today, all those past struggles crashed over your head, and it was easier to cling to those than take a risk with me.”
Staring at him, Belinda whispered, “That’s what happened. I felt like I was being torn in half. I wanted to believe you but kept remembering all the other people I hadn’t been able to trust.”
He was quiet for a few minutes as he rocked her. “Earning your trust is my first priority, Belinda. Have I done anything to make you think that you can’t depend on me?”
“No,” she admitted, sniffling.
“I think some type of punishment is exactly what you need, Little girl. It will wipe away all those negative thoughts and feelings and let you start fresh again. But this time, you’ll have to decide to trust me. That means promising to talk to me in the future before jumping to a negative conclusion.”
“I don’t want another spanking,” she wailed.
“I agree. The spanking relieved the tension you felt but didn’t erase the thoughts lingering in your mind. Go get me some paper and a pen and take a seat at the table,” he directed.
* * *
When she was in position,he joined her. Several blank pages of computer paper and two pens sat in front of her. He loved that she was taking this seriously.
“What did you do wrong today, Little girl?” Pedro asked after taking a seat.
“Everything,” she blurted.
“That isn’t correct,” he pointed out, refusing to let her take the easy way out. “Do you think you spoke kindly to your Daddy?”
“No,” she admitted.
“Do you think you jumped to conclusions that were not correct without talking to me first?” he prompted.
She nodded her head.
“Use your words. I want to hear you say it.”
“Yes,” she whispered.
“Did you think the worst of me with nothing to lead you to suspect I was a bad person?”
“Yes.”
“Are you afraid I won’t want to be your Daddy anymore?”
“Who would want me? I screwed everything up.” She looked at him desperately.
“I want you. I want the Little girl who struggles to trust her Daddy when he appears at the most unexpected time. I want the professional expert who has worked her way into an incredible leadership role and still seeks more. I want the woman who doesn’t know that it’s okay to live her truth—even if that truth conflicts with everything she’s hidden behind. I know you’re strong enough to accept all I want to give you and trust that I need you as much as you need me.” Pedro waited a few seconds for his words to sink in.
“You do?” Belinda didn’t allow herself to look back at him.