"Really?"
He nodded. "After I died, Artemis showed up with it and told me that I could access it with the demon powers."
"Nice gift."
"I would have rather had my mother."
"I know, baby." She laid herself down by his side and placed her hand over his heart.
Ren closed his eyes as her scent hit him all over again. Between that and her touch, his body went instantly hard. But worse than that were the feelings inside him. Feelings that wanted to stay with her like this forever.
Feelings that went wild as her breath fell against his nipple while she drew circles over his chest.
"You're killing me, Kateri."
She lifted herself up to look down at him. "I wasn't trying to kill you, sweetie."
But as his gaze fell to the gap in her shirt that clearly showed her breasts, he was sure this was terminal.
Her smile turned seductive as she slowly kissed her way down his body. His senses reeled. Why couldn't he have found her when he'd been human? His life would have been radically different had they met then.
But she hadn't been born. Not until centuries later ...
Oh, gah, I'm a dirty old man. One who was old enough to be her great-grandfather times a million.
That thought scattered as she took him into her mouth. Groaning from the ecstasy of her tongue caressing him, he cupped her cheek in his hand and stroked her jaw with his thumb. She was so beautiful. So perfect.
And the sight of her on him ...
How can I let her go?
But he knew he couldn't keep her. Not as a demon. Not as Grizzly's slave. Somehow he was going to have to find the courage to walk away from her and continue to live eternity without her.
Just the thought of it felt like a punch in the gut. For the first time in his life, he could see himself growing old with someone. Having a family ...
When he'd been mortal, those things had been vague and undefined. But now they were crystal-clear and he could see her face.
Grizzly had found a whole new level of hell to relegate him to.
Kateri hesitated as she felt Ren tense. Afraid she'd hurt him, she pulled back to see the hottest expression on his face. It was feral and hungry. He pulled her up to lie over his body so that he could give her the most incredible kiss of her life. His fangs brushed her lips as he buried his hands in her hair and fisted them without hurting. It was as if he was trying to consume her. That kiss left her breathless and weak.
Rolling her over, he used his powers to strip her naked. His muscles bunched and tightened around her while he teased her ear with his tongue until she saw stars. His hands seemed to be everywhere at once, stroking and delving, heightening her pleasure until she couldn't think straight.
He lifted himself to stare down at her an instant before he filled her.
She cried out at how good he felt deep inside her body. Biting his lip, he thrust himself against her hips, driving himself in even deeper. No one had ever made love to her like this. Like she was the air he needed to survive.
Ren pressed his cheek against hers and held her as tight as he could. He never wanted to let her go. He never wanted to leave her arms.
For the first time in his life, he fully understood what it meant to belong to someone else. Body and soul. There was nothing he wouldn't do for her. He would crawl naked over broken glass in the lowest pit of hell just to make her smile.
And when she came in his arms, crying out his name, he found a level of heaven he'd never known existed. One he knew he'd never have again.
Damn you, Fates.
And damn him for being such a fucking idiot that he'd screwed up his life so badly.
Clenching his eyes shut, he joined her release and shuddered against her. She ran her hands over his back as she buried her lips against his neck and tormented him with light, sweet kisses.
"Are you all right, Ren?"
No. Once he walked out of her life, he'd never be all right again.
But he couldn't tell her that.
"Fine. You?"
"Worried about you. There's something I can feel, but I don't know what it is."
"It's called nerves."
She snorted. "I know what those feel like. They came out to play with all their friends the entire week before I had to defend my dissertation."
He didn't respond to her attempt to make her laugh as he reluctantly slid out of her and rolled onto his back. She snuggled up against him and sighed contentedly.
So this was what normal felt like....
He'd never experienced it before. How could any man have something this precious and crave anything more?
Kateri watched the emotions play across his face, wishing she could identify them. The only thing she knew for sure was that something bothered him.
A lot.
"So..." She stretched that one word out. "If we survive all this, what will happen to us?"
"You'll go back to teaching and-"
"No, I don't mean us as in you and me. I mean us."
Ren winced at the wave of pain that gutted him. He'd never been an "us" before. Never had someone who wanted to put him in her future.
It was something he craved so badly ... so desperately, he could taste it.
If I still had my soul, I'd sell it to keep you....
And if wishes were Porsches, they'd all ride free and in style. He swallowed against the pain in his heart. Here in this one moment when he wanted nothing to spoil it, he was going to have to shatter the only heart that had ever loved him.
I am a bastard.